Los Angeles, California
Thursday, August 15th, 2013
So you wanna learn French… They say, “THE BEST,” way to learn a language is to nab yourself a LOVER that speaks said language and study in bed. I’ve always embraced a good bedtime story. Thus, I implement this theory of learning whenever possible and I say furthermore, “IF you want to learn FRENCH, you have to make that language yours. NO MESSING AROUND!”
YOU have to OWN the language?
YOU have to commit. No half way attempts at learning a little or “picking up a few phrases,” is going to take you to the Nirvana of knowing called, “Fluency.”
“Well?” YOU ask, “How does one go about owning a freakin’ language?”
Well, take English, for example, IF you want to learn English YOU are best going to England, and BONK yourself an English bloke or better yet Oxford trained Gentleman (Hah! These DUDES ain’t always so… gentle). Then your accent will be PERFECT and you will be prepared to dominate and colonize others. Bravo!
IF, on the other hand, you crave a bit of Deutsch… I say get yourself a girl or boy-toy from Hannover, they speak the cleanest… most widely understood… and universally accepted ass correct German, Hochdeutsche. YOU will dig it, when you become verbose auf Deutsch, trust me on this one. (I’m convinced, by the way, that German is the most grossly underrated language. More on that… some other time.) You will be ready to go to graduate school and get an advanced degree in art history! I know, I know… NOW, You are really eager to jump into bed with a friendly German, NOW!
I know someone… very American-European blue-eyed beauty, that recently had a Chinese BABY! YOU guessed it… an avid student of Asian tongues. So… If you missed the point of this communication, or did not get the thrust of my argument… Well, I recommend that you find someone NICE that will explain it to you in a language you both understand.
Language learning “opens doors in the universe,” that, “ONE never knew existed…” as Joseph Campbell is said to have said, “following one’s bliss” does too, so get cracking!
Best regards,
Frau K.