TalkingGrid

4 September 2013

Playa del Rey, Los Angeles, California.

It is true that it ain’t easy even when you have it ALL to get through a single day in paradise.  Just take a gander in the direction of the latest celebrity disaster and YOU will see photographic proof of marriage(s) in flames, substance abuse, and other FAILURES!

Yes, it is true that I used a strong word.  Failure is a word, WE adults don’t like, yet at the end of everyday, you either did a good job or— guess what—YOU did not.  NOW FACE IT!

Until YOU stop trying to play the blame game for your quality of life YOU will live in HELL.  IF your world does not work, the only way to change it is to LOOK within yourself at your choices and deal with the facts of your reality as authored by YOU.  Yes, YOU.

I know.  I know.  YOU, haven’t chosen to GET CANCER, GET FIRED, DOWNSIZED, or maybe even divorced.  It just happened.  Right.  Wrong.

YOU are at the center of the mess you make, just as whatever works in your life is yours to take credit for, to celebrate, to promote, to ENJOY!  I invest a lot of time and energy in celebrating my successes, sharing my joys. Yet, I don’t pretend that my life is perfect, because it is not.  I have no desire to be anything other than full of love and healed.  Rich, in my book, is the ability to feel love and caring for those that live in love and light and those that do not, too.

Amen,

Frau K.

Dearest Readers of Talkinggrid,

Thank you for continuing to show up here at this looney outpost in the sea of internet possibility. I know the space around us is vast but if you will simply, “come under the shadow/ of this red rock with me…”

Hah!

Today’s theme:

The Enthusiasm to Thrive

Life rains, storms, and twitches of lightening… Rings OUT! FIRE! You run. Hands up. Fingers in the sky like a man about to be executed in a Velasquez painting. Almost, screaming… It is dark. No one helps. You blaze. The flames lick your face. You are engulfed, yet… you silence yourself and… you exhale. Then…

You stop. You whirl around and gracefully remove the blazing blue and white fan print cotton kimono over your cheerful silk robe. You land on a specially prepared canvas strip. Nude. The audience inhales inward, joy. They never thought they’d see you so… expansive, free. You leave behind a massive streak of ash and flame colored pigment, smears of blood colored pigment in some natural oily binder … YOU are an artist, deep in the midst of a primal performance, a body painter in a near future art gallery on a barge somewhere off in a space previously unknown and now happening hotspot. The Premium… juice is flowing from easy-access fountains.

Imbibe!

Here we see ghosts dancing with Madams made of Smoke and Leprechauns coming onto Mermaids, “I see you dig wearing green, like me… May I buy you a pint?” Says a dashing short man in mossy leather trousers and a bent felt hat, from another era. She smiles, down at her new suitor, and vows to sing for him a song he will remember, just after she sips the Margarita which sits before her, efficiently delivered by an invisible bartender, known for his quick hands and heavy pours.

Hah!

You wake up and discover that your wallet is gone. You never meant to have that second drink. But the girl, with the well-read lips, swam over and offered nothing, well she just looked thirsty and you ordered, “The Best for The Lady!” Feeling buoyant. The rest is written in sperm whale juice, shipped via Spain to the orient, after processing in a plant on the east side of Los Angeles.

Energy? Steam? Hot air, wind, sun… what is gets you out of bed? What is your urgent duty? Who sings to you? Do you LOVE someone? Are you happy just to feel the wind kiss your faces as you enter the cozy entrails of the subway or are you the one laughing just because you have the freedom to spend the morning doing dishes and putting away the laundry? Ah, lucky domestic person with a home to love, to decorate, celebrate, and brighten the space between rushing and silence.

 

Silence is my best friend.

OK

1.) Read a book, why don’t you?  Learning is everyone’s most important occupation on Earth.  You claim, you “never have time to read these days.”  Now, get to it.

2.) Meditate.  Yes, it might make you sleepy.

3.) Write a poem.  This is FREE time for you to express yourself in writing.  Come ON!  You can do IT!

4.) Do Yoga.  A good stretch is one of the gifts you can give yourself anytime.  Think BIG, beautiful, gracious thoughts while you take a deep breath.

5.) Empty your spam folder.  Or do some other small de-cluttering task.  It might make you feel lighter.  You might find that ring you thought you lost, last season, on your whirlwind trip to New York City.   Think about the spam you get.  Why you?  What did you sign up for?  When?  Whatever it was is a weak spot for you.  Explore and then snore.

6.) Discover what your home has to say about you.  Think about it.  Are you comfortable?  If not, why not?  What could you do to make your life better?  Decide to do it.

7.) Find shelter IF  by any chance, you are homeless, wandering around, wondering what you are doing when you are 64… then it is time you plan your retirement.  Unless you LOVE the street and the great outdoors, think… oh, sorry… you must be mentally ill and well… maybe you are one of those smelly people at the public library, which I LOVE –––by the way––please take care, find a home, I wish you all the best.  I haven’t faced full-on homelessness, always knowing in my heart I could go home to Mama IF I really had to.

8.) Make a list of everyone who you will release from duty.  Let go of people who are not in sync with your spirit, Choose allies you trust and that are proven by frequent acts of love and generosity.

9.) Plan your next party.  Throw a party to thank everyone that LOVES you.

10.) Have a drink.  Water is fine.  Make yourself a chamomile tea. Sip it. S L O W…

11.) Kiss your spouse.  Cuddle.  Make love to yourself or someone else.  GO FOR IT!

12.) Thank goodness you are alive.  Pray, only if it works for you.  IF not just a little note to self of thanks is dandy. Yes, pat yourself on the back for being.  YOU are an important member of society.  We are counting on YOU to stay alive and keep us company.  OK?

13.) Plan your escape or return or debut or comeback.  Learn to play chess, if you don’t know, already.

14.) IF you don’t have a spouse, get one, otherwise tell the freeloading bum you have  in your bed/head to “get the fuck out.”  IF you are alone, thank yourself for not inviting a stranger to come home and show you a good time.

15.) Organize your closet.

16.) Make a grocery list and gloat yourself to sleep over the money you save by thiniking ahead.

17.) Wrap presents for Loved Ones, in last year’s home-recycled, wrapping paper. “Waste not want not.”

18.) Use glue.  Collage is a democratic art form for everyone to explore.  Take up knitting.  Perhaps, this is the best time to update your blog, better yet IF you don’t have one… you might consider what you would blog about and start one, because it really is fun to have a place to be, a radio-station of your own.   Do something useful.  This is an opportunity to do some good work.  We all have missions we must work on.  The only valid missions are those that aim at benefiting all humans.  Don’t waste time being greedy or planning how to get more than anyone else.  It is not worth the stress.

19.) Lotion yourself.  Massage your legs and arms.  Feel happy to be ALIVE and take a deep breath.

20.) Listen to the silence.  It is packed with messages and guidance from the source.   The source, as readers of self-help books will know, is the collective intelligence which is available to every human in equal share ALL THE TIME but you must be relaxed and at ease in order to hear it.  So… take this evening as an opportunity to explore the benefits of insomnia.  Enjoy and praise your sleeplessness.

21.) Try self-help audio.  For example: Dr. Wayne Dyer, Erckhart Tolle, and Deepack Chopra are the three masters of the genre.  Give these authors a try, for an after midnight blend of enlightenment with a good dose of humor.  (By the way, in order to enhance your and mine web experience, I just clicked the link to these author’s web-sites and they are very interesting looking humans with deep eyes.  Check it out.)

22.) Take a deeper breath.  Read the list again.  Laugh.  Think how lucky you are to know Frau Kolb LOVES you and wishes you a deep and restful, restorative sleep, whenever it comes to you, like a MUSE in the night.

23.) Exhale slowly.

When YOU are down you have to get UP again:

 

Leaving

The Valley of Dolores

Almost immediately, we tripped into it.  Madness, on the outskirts of Hell was nearby… we were out strolling… down memory lane, when we crashed into The Horror The Horror.  Sometimes you slip into a place where you are out of grace, out of time, exhausted… almost drowning in the hot volcanic mud of ever burning Hades.  You struggle…

23 EASY STEPS OUT OF HELL

1.)  Take a deep breath. Exhale. Admit to yourself that you are far from HOME.  You are in peril.  Take note.  Scream, if you must… shout for “Help!”  (In hell, of course no one cares; everyone is too busy being tortured themselves that they have zero time or compassion for the “problems,” of others.)  Think about it, you are here for a reason.  Perhaps you are thinking only of you and your problems.  Look around, help someone.  That might be the ticket out of hell for YOU!

2.) Center yourself upon the knowing you have strayed and must return to the paradise of writing routines, long walks, and deep meditations in paint and other musical materials. (Yes, if you started to seek yourself in the flashing reflections of computer monitors and television screens; it is now time to unplug and try resting. Rest helps.)

3.) Thank goodness that you know where you are and suddenly experience relief.  Yes!  Allow that mud caked around your ankles, the cast, the weights, the chains, the shackles, the whatever-holds-you-back to fall away and quickly MOVE to the safety of honesty and truth.

4.) Running, skipping, jumping: somehow getting enough exercise is key in feeling mentally and spiritually balanced.  YOU have to dance your way back to health and happiness and you can only do that on a tummy full of healthy (organic) or even better, home-grown, fresh food.  Accept no substitutes.  You are what you eat and if GMOs are a part of your diet or you eat a lot of animal products (they have to eat whatever is put in their feed, much like… us.) don’t be surprised if you feel like a big fat burger roasting on the coals of El Inferno.

5.) Get a stack of seven life-saving books.  The book is your stable friend even in the worst adversity.  Seven books add up to a gaggle of buddies to back you up and help you fortify your positions and get on with the JOY that life is meant to be, no matter what the situation, do not stray into the land of illusion where the drama seems to mean more than the spiritual.  When choosing books in times of adversity; make sure to pick upbeat topics, arcane interests, and study materials, in the middle of a crisis is a great time to brush up on you Mandarin.

6.) Bathing works wonders.  I’ve encountered few problems that a scented, oil bath wasn’t a way to feeling better.  Don’t have a tub?  Shower with scrub mittens… and perhaps a eucalyptus scented lotion.  Even a hot towel on your hands and feet can help you feel more human, just take time to thank goodness that you have hands, a towel… really be grateful.

7.) Masturbate.  Endorphins are good for you. Relieve some stress… get it on with number ONE.

8.) Appreciate those around you.  You wouldn’t be alive if you hadn’t received your share of kindness along the way.  After all, infants are obviously vulnerable… each adult human no matter how damaged or battered is proof of human kindness.  Value that truth.

9.) Notice, that others need your help and focus on lifting weights off neighboring shoulders.  Be courteous.  Politeness, respect, and consideration go a long way toward creating peaceful conditions anywhere.  It helps you and others feel better, instantly.

10.) Find a way to really help another, not an empty gesture, but a real action, resulting in another person feeling LOVED, cared for by you.  YOU will instantly feel better when you show great tenderness for another.  Loving another is an immediate way to loving yourself, again.  When you feel good about yourself, your actions, it means you have taken responsibility for your quality of life.  (In HELL, your family send you “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” text messages that mean absolutely nothing in the grip of timelessness.)

11.) Writing is a righteous way to cope.  Jot down your feelings, make lists, use whatever tools are at hand to help you sort through the complexities of the situation and the implement a plan based on your notes.  Just having done this exercise gives you the strength to move forward and enjoy life.

12.) Remember: you have purpose.  You are beautiful.  You are unique.  Frau loves you. This alone should help you dance across the roasting coals and spring to the eternal green of abundance and wonderment at the beauty which is everywhere. (Yesterday, I was on a public bus, facing the Pacific, on one of the most dazzling stretches, I’ve ever seen… around me, workers, peddlers, vagrants, various students of nothing-in-particular ignored the view.  It was fascinating to watch these fellow humans be oblivious to their setting, so very uncaring and preoccupied.  (IN HELL no one ever has time; you are rushed from one treatment, to the next, there is NO REST in HELL!)

13.) humor is magical.  The instant you surrender to a big belly rolling HAH!  Hah!  is heavenly… Laughing at one’s own mistakes is sacred and cleansing; great good can come from this form of jovial mirth.  (In HELL, hyena like derisive laughter echoes down endless, labyrinthian halls… devils thrive in putting others down, whatever you “race,” they know the exact racist comments to make you feel the burning scorn of HADES.  Sadists that take pleasure in humiliating others or causing deliberate pain to their victims, are to be put on spits and turned around like hot dogs for eternity when the never ending orgy or malicious intent and distorted responses of dictators and mad doctors… like the Nazi Death Camp atmosphere,  the space where all is stagnant and there is no giggling allowed, no room for revelry, a fetid pool of half dead people, all of whom could care less about others, in the cubicles next to yours, like rats in a barrow… feasting on horror.)  Honest laughter never revolves around another’s perceived or imagined short comings, it is never malicious.  Healthy laughter is never at another’s expense.  Humor, that hinges on marveling at life’s madness is good for the battered soul.  Try it.

14.) Don’t try to convert the damned.  Sometimes, you just have to cut yourself off from the creatures that you seek to protect.  People that bring you down, make you feel terrible about life, are like stormy weather and inhibit darkness, bringing their heinous gravitas everywhere they go are to be dismissed in favor of those that cultivate peace, love, humor, and kindness as daily active virtues.

15.) Avoid the armies of brain dead, intellectually ossified, people for whom everything good is invisible, that live for consuming cultural products without creating material to feed future generations of mentally hungry humans.  Lack of creativity is HELLISH in my book.

16.) Materialism means that you don’t enjoy good things in life because your focus is on the cost of goods rather than the enjoyment and appreciation of effort and beauty.  Being chained to a pearl necklace, which should be given away freely, as a token of LOVE to a caring other… is a way in which prioritizing having over giving, which makes monsters of those that are incapable of giving goodness.  Leaving a crummy tip for a zealous server: a highway to a hell of big pots were cheapskates are consumed for all eternity!)

17.) Leap over steaming murky pools of self pity that we are prone to wallow in when we feel we’ve been wrong by focusing on the fact that on the other side of self pity is a glorious oasis of self respect, waiting.

18.) Draw a line, separating yourself from the faults others project onto you.  Be NOT the blank screen upon which lacerated howling sinners project their morbid fantasies.  Allow no one to assign you the role of Virgil in the tour of some festering cesspool of evil.

19.) Stop trying to please everyone.  Make it clear what you will and will not accept.  Be willing to die, a billion deaths, rather than be bland, dead, and/or neutral.  Take a stand.  Defend the light.  Be brilliance personified.  SHINE!

20.) Be willing to MAKE ENEMIES.  You don’t want friends that are selfish devils.  Nope.  No thanks.

21.) Release, all the half-assed bullshit friends that never actually help or contribute a dime to your operation.  Keep friends that care what condition you are in and help you to live a better life.  Live in communion and constant exchange of courtesy and affection.  Gift giving and exchanging is KEY to the pearly gates.

22.) Notice: when a devil is disguised as a harmless little old lady.  Recognize that evil comes in all packages and that ONE must be alert to distinguish the evil in one’s own conduct.  We all lie.  We all take short cuts.  NO ONE, least of all, I is perfect.  Yet, to inhibit a life where prosperity, peace, and pleasure are routine one must be discerning and willing to surgically amputate cancerous connections with toxic fork-tongued folk of the underworld.

23.) Realize that you are SUPER LUCKY to be alive and that even IF you are suffering now… you have had the pleasure of breathing, reading, learning, and loving.  Nothing, could be better, no paradise more succulent and crowded with monarch butterflies, buzzing bees, and healthy human and animal life.

ENJOY!

Dearest and most cherished Talkinggrid  Readers, Commentators, Contributors, Donors, and Critics,

Thank you, again for allowing Talkinggrid  into your life in 2012 or 13… whenever you started to visit this lowly yet unique web-site… the voice of a quirky, cute, fuzzy thinking, artist ––Frau Kolb—on the loose,  a wild (art) Party (performance) Person from New York… or is she from the Caribbean, IF so… what is with this Frau… Business?  

(Writing is therapeutic.  Reading this I hope you feel healed of your own insignificance and connected to the larger whole of human experience.)

Seven DAYS into the NEW year… Frau Invites you reconsider your resolutions and arrive at a better approach.

So… here we go:

27 Ways to Welcome  The NEW YEAR!!! 

1.)  Don’t stop.  Think about the holiday season as a period for celebrating the magic, the light, and the eternal unending love.  These are good reasons to take better care of yourself: cook, clean-the-house, groom the self, and socialize.  If you did a solid rendition of Thanksgiving, way back in November you: ate well, home cooked organic and healthy food, fresh made with lots of carrots and celery and perhaps… turkey/tofu turkey.  

Now, in January, we launch the NEW year with French bubbly and friends.  Do: have people over to your still decorated holiday home.  Don’t go out on New Year’s Eve: it is always disappointing.  Expensive and loud, the holiday boils down to freezing outdoor mayhem: don’t bother.  

2.) Let GO!  Review the last year.  What worked?  What habits/people/places demand to be released “the their highest good,” in the NEW Year?  Let these people, positions, and mistakes be a part of the past and make a clean rip into the NEW YOU! 

3.)  Make a list of everything you LOVE about yourself and want to enhance.  What are your best qualities and how are you going to improve your game/performance/results/numbers/stats in 2014.  Focus on what you do well, love to do, and want to do more… IF it works for you, brings you good, then do more.  (Seems obvious, I know yet, it is New Year and every New Year, is an opportunity to review and make changes.)

4.)  Invest in creating a New Year that reflects what and who you are or desire to become.  

5.) Don’t forget your monthly spa treatment.

6.) Carefully put away the holiday decorations.  Collecting ornaments over the decades and generations, telling stories of family members long gone is one of the most holiday enhancing activities I reserve time for.  Yet, packing away our little treasures to be used again, next year, extends the holiday glow, just a little longer.  (Atheists can skip this step.)

7.)  Decide what 2014 is going to be about for YOU!   Give the year a title.  For example; “This is the Have-Toned-ABS or Eat-Only-Organic-Meats,” Year. This brings focus to your efforts and makes it easy to look back next year on your achievements.   Develop a one year plan for personal success.  What does, “success,” mean to you?  Shave it down to five words.  Keep these words close, make them your mantra, become the butterfly you are.

8.) Plan to have a great year.  What do you have to look forward to?  If the answer is “No Thing.” Well… why? 

What did you do to make it so… awful?  What can you do this month, TODAY, Now… to make it better?

9.) Remember to express gratitude to all the beautiful people who toss you a smile, a quarter, a tip, a bit of love; here-and-there are people that give you just enough love to keep you going.  Thank them, again. 

10.)  Be nice.  Be generous.  The more you give the more YOU get.  Don’t be afraid to LOVE passionately.  Dive in in 2014 to the power of kindness.  YOU can do it. 

12.) Give everyone space to be themselves, including yourself.  Accept that you have issues and that you are not likely to change, yet you might try… occasionally… in the name of tradition, to reform yourself with clock-like regularity around this time of year, to no avail because you are basically always going to be the boring old goat that has to piddle and poo. 

12.)  Read more books.  Make more time by cutting back on the freakin’ entertainment that consumes much of everybody’s time.  We all watch shows.  Even I, the great lunatic sage, FRAU KOLB, succumb to the allure, of a beautiful human (think: Don Draper in Mad Men) uttering brilliantly written lines as though they had just ***thought*** to say THAT outrageously well crafted LINE!  Wow, films and television shows thrill us and impress upon us the idea that somewhere else there are humans so slick and sexy that they never have to brush their teeth or eat right.  Films, videos, digital media…. all consume our attention and give back very little. Yet, books are friends that tell stories slowly, giving you time to think and flesh out ideas.  Read a good novel or two or ten this year.  I recommend it for your health.  I also say: “No, thank you!” to digital books.  They just don’t work for me.  But the more I read paper books, the more I love how slow they go.  I adore the space between the words.   I sip the stream of words and let each ideas percolate on my tongue   I savor the moments, meanings, and characters found in books.  When humans fail me, when life sucks, when I get confused and feel homeless: I retreat to books for comfort and warmth and to help repair my spirit.  Try it.  It might work for you, too. 

13.) Focus on finance, with February right around the corner, it is time to think about your fiscal health.  Did you budget properly for the holiday expenditures or did the holiday hype take you by surprise, again, this year?

14.) Are you brushing up on your French/Mandarin/Portuguese?  GOOD!

15.) Plan a vacation for yourself.  You can and will go somewhere fun this year.  

16.) Spend time with your favorite poet.  This year on New Year’s Day I dove into “Leaves of Grass,” by no-one-less than Walt Whitman.  Now… IF you haven’t read Whitman since grade school GET TO IT.  Whitman rocks.

17.) Get ready for the LA Contemporary Art Fair, which is the highlight of the social calendar for Muses and the Amused on the West Coast.  Get ready for whatever event floats your boat and can be this month’s highlight, plan one for each month, and thus, map out your year, sketching a picture of an ideally stimulating and uplifting mental landscape, sculpting an environment, rich with possibility for enriching your soul.

18.) Cultivate your lighthearted nature by spending time outside, inside, and everywhere-in-between enjoying the fact that YOU exist.  

19.) IF you are not aware of why you are alive, this might be a good time to figure that out.  Apply the steps above.  IF you are aware of your purpose (everyone has a least one if not thousands of good reasons to be good, kind, loving, and take care of others, better). 

20.) Try a NEW approach.  Reconsider your past moves and plan to dance to a new drum beat.  YOU, after all, are the only person that can make you happy.

21.) Wish everyone peace and prosperity.  There are more than enough resources for everyone on the planet to live well.  Yet, it is up to each individual to define who they are and what they want, while respecting the rights and wishes of others.  There is no need to compete with anyone other than your former self, this or any other year.  

22.) Stressed?  Take it as a sign.  You require rest.  Don’t let the demands of life wreck havoc on your self-care schedule.  Relax.  Do it as a duty.  Take a deep breath and exhale blessings onto this NEW year which stands naked before you.  Kiss it.

23.)  Kiss yourself.  Do it.  Kiss your elbows, hands, knees.  YOU deserve LOVE.  Give it to yourself.

24.) Pick clothes that address the whether best.  YOU don’t need a lot of gear. Trust me.  You only need one outfit or two that work without a hitch to get you from one season to the next in style.  Warmth is an issue for most of North America in January.  Keep warm.  Enjoy discovering new clothes that are on sale now and in February which will make your winter a pleasure.  

25.) Embrace the weather.  Enjoy the storms.  Plan ahead so you ALWAYS HAVE organic FOOD in the house, in the pantry, on the shelf… somewhere have a treat or two stocked… so that when it is really cold out you can snuggle up with a good book, a brandy, or a camomile tea… and when you do curl up like a baby in uterus think: thank goodness, I have a home.  IF however, you are homeless and happen to be reading Frau Kolb’s blog for kicks at the public library, I’d like to ask you… WHY?  I mean, “Why, are you homeless and reading Talkinggrid at the public library?”  I think that is weird.  I don’t mean being homeless is weird.  Many people, millions… maybe are homeless, right?  I don’t know.  I’ve not been homeless in a couple decades and when I was I was young and it was a choice because I wanted to LIVE and adventures beckoned. Any way… embrace the weather.

26.) Pat yourself on the back: you made it this far.  Not only did you survive 2013, which truth be told was a really challenging year, but you read all 26 of Frau Kolb’s 27 recommendations or suggestions for cliche busting paradigm shifting ways to launch the NEW YEAR in style, bonbons of sweet truth meant to enlighten and excite you and encourage your personal growth, which is what Talkinggrid is becoming…. a place you can come and read about how and what Frau Kolb might do to get through “The Valley of Death,” which is so familiar to many people, that suffer quietly and feel lost in the crevice of creation which is NOW and HERE.

I’m no Virgil.  Yet, I’m one woman, making my life work, well enough… that I keep writing, reading, dancing, playing music, loving painting, and dreaming creating, producing, and discovering ART projects in 2014.  

 I’m not going to deny that 2013 was a rough bitch in high heels and a leather corset.  It was… Yet, we made it past her cruel embrace and now we can run head long into the NEW!

27.)  This is not the last nor the final word on ways to celebrate and get your year off to a good start.  You have to invent your own rituals, create traditions which work for you and your family.  Don’t just do what everybody else does and then feel bad that your life doesn’t work for you.  YOU must tailor your life to meet your needs and cease judging other for not having the same exact values as you.  If we all wanted or were the same person, there really wouldn’t be enough resources for us all to thrive.  There are, yet… it is up to us to learn to use what we have in a way that best works for ourselves and others.

Now, I wish you a solid, worthwhile year. 

I wish you the strength and understanding to know that your year will be whatever you decide to make it.

Go LUCK!  (For Fortuna is a raging whore ready to eat you alive, much like Kronos did his children…)

Big hug, 

Frau Kolb