23 Cancer Blessings

Cancer Blessings?

How dare Frau Kolb suggest that the cancer might mean an end to your precious life is a blessing?

Well, Frau Kolb is an expert on getting a kick out of whatever life throws up in the way of enjoying life.  I am NOT, however a doctor, what you read here is my personal proposal, an invitation, if you will, to join me in celebrating the good and bad news, as good and bad news will bloom in your life like flowers in the spring time.

Recently, a friend contacted me, asking for advice on how to handle a tricky situation.  She might have cancer.  She will be undergoing tests soon.  May goodness be with her.  She might find that her cancer is… well… she won’t know until she knows and I tell you waiting to find out is hard work.  Yet…

She’s lucky because she invested her life in creating a worthy circle, at the center of her circle is her husband.  He is her best friend and may serve as her “personal advocate,” in making decisions relating to cancer treatment.  She is “lucky,” because he picked a steadfast and loving partner.  He is a caring person.  She has nurtured relationships with people that really love her.   Thus, she will not be facing uncertainty alone.

For others, they find themselves alone and without means to cope with the huge costs of cancer.  The people whose lives were out-of-control before cancer must now tap into a source, a reserve, of strength and clarity within themselves.  That still point, deep within the garden of being, which holds keys to enjoying your life no matter what strikes you, yet does not, kill you—whatever-allows space for life to continue becomes precious when you face, life-threatening cancer treatment.  In order to be effective the treatment is rough.  It can kill you.  So… you better get ready.  This is a time to re-new your contract and decide IF living suits you well enough to cling to all lively, joyous, and creative pursuits.  For those who have lost their path, or never had a clear route toward fulfillment, cancer maybe a chance to save their own lives by using the opportunity to connect with others and thereby forming a “Cancer Circle,” of which they are the center.  It could be that this is the chance to meet new people with whom to relate, commune, and move forward.

This list of 23 Cancer Blessings is based on my experience dancing with rather than fighting against cancer.  I have a genetic mutation that makes my body fertile ground for growing cancer cells.  There was nothing I could have done to avoid having cancer bloom in my body.  Yet, there is much I’ve done to enjoy life while undergoing treatment.  All in all, my life has expanded and become more fulfilling during my dancing time.

I’ve had a grand time a BALL, if you will, in the years after my initial cancer diagnosis.  I’ve traveled more.  I made time and space in my life for creativity in a way that keeps me connected and vital. Talkinggrid is one of the out comes of my stretching wingspan into areas that were my dream territories: publishing and professional writing, being every reading girl’s ultimate dream.  I invite you to join me on this worthy voyage, The Vacation Approach to Life is the art making peace with yourself and enjoying every second of your life as it is.  Yes, you are going to get treatment.  This advice is NOT about praying cancer away. Thank goodness.

1.) Cancer means you must stop, take a deep, and then deeper breath and LOOK at yourself.  This is the ultimate opportunity to take stock and LOOK at your life.  Exhale.

2.) IF you are fortunate enough to have anyone that cares enough to be your advocate when visiting doctors and getting tests done YOU are blessed.

3.) Make sure you record your sessions with doctors.  Take notes, tape recorder, get ready for meetings with lists of questions.

4.) When you have CANCER your time is officially YOURS!  Now: you must focus and use your energy like a laser to create GOOD in your world.  This is a time to pray, IF that works for YOU, to sing, to turn inward, and rejoice because YOU are ALIVE and as long as YOU are among us: ENJOY IT! Enjoy the marvelous spectacle of IT!  Delight in your cancer because it means you must make time for yourself.  You are done No more giving everything for others. Cheers!  Bottoms UP!  Hurrah for SPORTIN’ OL’ YOU!

5.) Do: become very friendly with your doctors.  Share the jokes you read, hear, and love with them and they will LOVE seeing YOU and YOU will get better care.  Bring them a copy of a great book you just read.  LOVE, them and they will care about YOU, more. Moreover: being the favorite patient of a great doctor has many social benefits.

6.) Have a daily belly laugh.  Yes, this is time for comedy.  This is time for laughing until others in the chemo-center give you funny looks.  Make a practice of laughing.  Call your funniest friends.  Watch humorous movies.  Read seven joke books at the doctors office.  Bring your most glamorous friend to chemotherapy with you, IF you are lucky she will be Italian, a tall and svelte beauty, a spiked-heeled riot of laughs of witty comments, like mine is.

7.) Address the issues: this is time to educate yourself, apply the SEVEN BOOK RULE, which is Frau Kolb’s favorite success tool: read seven books about your type of cancer.  Why seven?  Because then you will have an informed perspective and know what to ask your doctors.  IF you manage to gather together seven books about the culture and lingo of Cancer-Land, a weird valley, near the Abyss… which has no set maps or rules, yet plenty of gravity, mud pits, and other obstacles worthy of a pause.  YOU better learn the basics of what others have endured or in order to find the treasure buried in the middle of this surreal landscape.

8.) Be super NICE to medical staff, after all, they have your life in their hands.  Don’t forget your “please and thank you, for the bed pan,”  Because if you are given treatment that is fair and even on-its-way-to kind you are blessed.  Be grateful.

9) Ask friends or buy yourself a stunning collection of bedroom suits and gowns worthy of a Mad Men Episode.  Yes!  It is time to wear a turban.  You know, you always wanted to.   You will need fresh entertaining pajamas when friends come visit.  It is very glam to remain presentable while very ill.  DO IT!

10.) This is your chance to meet handsome doctors and nurses!  Don’t forget that flirting with your medical staff is one healthy why of keeping everyone’s spirits UP!

11.) Be invited to The Grand Cancer Ball and give a rambling talk on how fabulous your new collection of wigs are!  Enjoy playing dress up, when your hair falls out whip out the wigs (note: plural, IF you dare have fun with it.  A blue bob, in my book is d’riguer.)

12.) This is your chance to cash in all favors and make all the outrageous requests you desire.  Go for it!  No one will fault you.  Finally!  Freedom to be a cancer DIVA is a blessing.

© Magnus Petterson PHOTO Frau Kolb in the Studio, 19 February 2010

13.) This is the part of the movie of YOU where you find out what really matters and who really cares.  Do not be surprised if some of the people you thought would be present for you are not.  Let them go.  Be OPEN to the new LOVE that can and will support you IF you allow yourself a buoyant, relaxed, and grateful simply with or without a life-threatening condition.

14.) Friends, family members, medical staff, social workers, and others that are invested in caring for you (because, of course, you care for them) will rally around you and you will have golden moments in the strangest places.

15.) Every time you make a decision that prolongs your life and helps you enjoy being here you are blessed.  So enjoy making choices with your team of friends and family headed by an advocate, which ideally is someone educated and good at record keeping, someone bold and deeply invested in your success.

16.) Thank goodness that you have this chance to say the important things to the important people.  BE REAL.  Stop being so nice IF it hurts you.  BE GENEROUS with the praise and gratitude for every little courtesy or good vibe others will show you.  Listen to each person that comes to you as though they were an angle delivering messages from god.  Listen.

17.) Decide to be public or private, the choice is yours, but now is a time to make sure your needs are met and that you connect to the source of all LOVE which is within you.  Every moment you breath and can cognate you are blessed.  Enjoy this truth.

18.) Take time to watch leaves fall in slow motion from autumn trees or the snow melt and freeze.  Become a camera that quietly takes in the view and delight in being able to see the dust moats dancing in the sunlight through the stained glass windows of your synagogue/chapel.

19.) This is a time when tradition comes in handy.  Tap into who you are and what your people do at times of crisis, then select what works, discard the fist fighting and drunken orgies, do adopt the customs of other cultures that might fit your mood and help you enjoy life more.

20.) It is time for reading novels in bed!

21.) Long sunset walks!

22.) More time with your pets, IF you don’t have one or two get a new one, a source of consistent LOVE is useful during chemo. Moreover, walking a dog is just what you need to be doing.  WALK!  Better yet, RUN!  Fitness can really help you feel better about ANY situation.

23.) EAT BETTER.  More fresh—organic is best—Food! The leaner, fitter, stronger you are the more likely to recover from your sometimes grueling cancer treatment and the long periods of testing/uncertainty. Cook more or rather invite friends over, they can help you cook/clean because now that you are the dancing with the cancer blessing you are now in the position to graciously accept help, love, and support.  Let the goodness rain down on you and soak you to the bone, let it wash away pain and feel good about being here for as long as you can enjoy the bumpy ride… come in/go out… and enjoy the flowers, meals, and other perks family, friends, new care givers, and your extended circles will provide.

© Magnus Petterson PHOTO Frau Kolb in the Studio, 19  February 2010

The motto: when we get bad news: we celebrate/when we get good news: we celebrate is at the heart of this system.

My husband, Dr. Hartmuth C. Kolb came up with the above motto and the original  “Cancer Blessing,” was discovered by my talented medical oncologist, Dr. Lawrence Piro upon the discovery that my chemo-therapy treatment had to be interrupted to perform an open-heart-surgery… but that is another story.

Love,

Frau Kolb