For the Romantics, out there, celebrating Valentine’s day comes as naturally as a bodily function. The Romantic simply oozes LOVE, LOVE, LOVE! They have buckets of red paint at the ready. They are intent on hitting the streets, this Saturday, 14th of February, year 2015, their pubes freshly waxed, to PAINT THE TOWN bright crimson, vibrating vermillion, luscious labia incarnadine, throbbing rose, and scintillating sienna.
You know the type: they got up early, last week to ensure that all their Lovers got long well-worded, heart moving, gut wrenching, LOVE letters written on top quality stationary. They own and are not afraid to use a fountain pen. Their hand writing proves they went to art school and the content of their letters shimmers with allusions to the voluptuous works of English poet, John Donne. Nothing is too grand for this type of being. Helicopter rides, no problem. Couple’s massage, with cinnamon oil and brisk strokes, assured. Red velvet cake and capes, required.
For those that LOVE, love the day is infused with a glow of giving and receiving, not so much cheap chocolates and factory made cards, but attention, affection, and erotic thumbs up from other sexy souls that seek any opportunity to connect and express emotions not often celebrated by the general population.
For Others, Valentine’s day is just another day. Perhaps the last time that they sent out a Valentine’s greeting was when they were in Kindergarten and the little kid they especially liked failed to get the message and just threw their little paper card away… Since then, they harbor a distrust for the holiday and don’t hesitate to express their lack of enthusiasm for Valentine’s Day. “It’s a Hallmark Holiday,” said one women, meaning that it was a bit of capitalist fluff, commercial hodgepodge holiday meaning nothing to Nobody.
How sad!
It is for these downtrodden Lovers that Frau Kolb writes the following:
Talkinggrid List of 13 Reasons to Celebrate Valentine’s Day
1.) LOVE ROCKS!
Sorry, if you haven’t experienced this for yourself, yet, but if you have ever felt the sting of baby Cupid’s arrow, you know the poison propels paupers to the realms of princes, lifting one UP to new heights. It is wonderful to feel energized, charged, and ready to reach for the moon, fearless of falling into a pit of cliches, trusting.
2.) Celebrating Secures Sweet Memories
By investing time and thought into planning and producing a special sensation in another one creates a lasting impression, a memory of goodness shared. These memories hold couples together through difficult times in hospitals and under duress. Making dinner, setting the table, a single rose… candle light, it all adds up and get stored in that reserve of goodwill from which we draw when work, obligations, and personal difference threaten to erase our bonds with Loved Ones.
3.) Art you my LOVE?
Drawing on your infantile art skills or masterly verve with pen and ink; you can touch another’s heart and create that scrap of sunshine to warm up winter’s coldest days. YOU CAN! Allow yourself to find a good piece of acid-free paper, a scissor, some glue, glitter and BABY you can make your LOVE swoon.
4.) Pump UP the HEART Valve!
We are here now. We may not be here tomorrow. We owe it to ourselves to create a feeling of fulfillment in ourselves by expressing our fuzzy FEELINGS! Nothing will give you more JOLT or excitement than running up the temperature of your heart with warm words and woozy feelings! Expressing LOVE is a workout for the soul. Stay fit! Keep your soul from becoming a floppy blob: find yourself a LOVE worthy of words, wine, and worlds of wonderful exchanges, priceless endearments.
5.) It is good for the economy!
Think of all those chocolate makers, rose farmers, and vendors of paper products (cards, stickers, and trinkets) where would they be without Valentine’s Day to make February, an otherwise dull month, something snazzy. Valentine’s Day is indeed a commercialized holiday and you have a choice if you want to buy into it or not. You can celebrate with homegrown flowers, stinky little buds, preferred. You can make your own cards (see number 3) and write your own sonnets.
Some decide to splurge on jewelry, jets, and fireworks… Over-the-top? Yes and great for the providers of diamonds (always a rip off), charter plane flights to Maui, and explosives. HURRAY!
6.) Distinguish Yourself
You could be one of those cranky, irritable, sad, and sometimes lonely people that resist and resent LOVE in its throbbing pulsating glory. Or you could rent a white stretch limo and ride around town listening to “Thus Spoke Zarathustra,” by Richard Wagner. The choice is, again, yours.
7.) BEHOLD THE WHITE ELEPHANT!
Valentine’s Day is a great opportunity for secret loves to throw caution to the wind and FLAUNT their LOVE! Go ahead invite your Other Man/Woman over for dinner with you and your official partner. Who knows you may find that polyamory or pure honesty are not as foreign to you and yours as previously envisioned. YOU can use this day to reveal your real feelings and thus release yourself from artifice and arrive at a more authentic being. (Or, you may become part of an scandalous triple murder suicide and thus earn your fifteen minutes of infamy.)
8.) Quality and Content Matter
This is your chance to state, affirm, and expose your true feelings for the ones that are either in your life or you would like to attract and attach to. The gift(s) you choose (or don’t) say a lot about the type of love you feel and what you have to offer and what you wish for in exchange. For all the women getting boxes of silky nothings… you know what is desired in return. For all the men that discover lovingly deforested females… on this magical day… well, you know you are LOVED.
9.) Keeping UP with The Kolbs
Observing tradition and flowing with the yearly calendar of opportunities to celebrate our bond is of the greatest importance to us. This year we celebrate our sixteenth year together. My husband has never failed to surprise me with roses red and sweets of various types. I’m pleased to say that I think we are just at the start of discovering the texture, color, and many shapes our love can take.
10.) Keeping up with The Kardashians
Just kidding.
11.) Friendship is worthy of Celebrating too.
Do not underestimate how much it will mean to your grandmotherly pal to get a card from you today. The other mothers in your mothers group will also feel appreciated if you send of an electronic or paper missive listing sweet qualities and good times had.
12.) The Jehova’s Witnesses Disapprove!
This may be my absolute favorite and strongest reason for celebrating Valentine’s Day with gusto; the Jehova’s Witnesses (an international door-to-door christian spirituality cult promising eternal life to the select and destruction to the rest) insist that Valentine’s Day is a Pagan holiday and that celebrating it is … blah, blah, blah… whatever. I grew up going to meetings three times per week. Thanks to them, I’ve read the King James Bible (in Spanish, no less) from cover to cover more than twice, yet I don’t understand why they think themselves better, more worthy of salvation, than anybody else. So… please pass the red heart staple gun. Thank you.
13.) Why Not?
Seriously, what are you afraid of? Eternal damnation? Revealing LOVE and being rejected? Spending too much on overpriced roses?
Get over it and get ON with the Party that is LIFE!
Happy Valentine’s Day, 2015!