Hartmuth Kolb – TalkingGrid

Posted on August 4, 2017August 5, 2017 by Frau Kolb

“Embracing Life”: Caridad’s 23 Rules for living with cancer

Cancer with Style. Caridad was able to live with breast cancer, which behaved like an aggressive “triple negative cancer”, for 8 good years. She accomplished this by “embracing life”, which, in her own words, meant “dancing with cancer, rather than fighting with it”. Right after her diagnosis in July 2009, I bought a full case of her favorite champagne, Veuve Clicquot, which didn’t last very long. This led to the motto:

“When we get bad news: we celebrate. When we get good news: we celebrate”, which is at the heart of Cancer with Style system.

Caridad wrote about cancer blessings (“23 cancer blessings“), which I summarize here for you. These are largely Caridad’s words, which I have edited and re-organized.

Best wishes,

Hartmuth Kolb

“Cancer Blessings? How dare Frau Kolb suggest that the cancer might mean an end to your precious life is a blessing? Well, Frau Kolb is an expert on getting a kick out of whatever life throws up in the way of enjoying life. I am NOT, however a doctor, what you read here is my personal proposal, an invitation, if you will, to join me in celebrating the good and bad news, as good and bad news will bloom in your life like flowers in the spring time.

Many will find themselves alone and without means to cope with the huge costs of cancer. They must now tap into a source, a reserve, of strength and clarity within themselves. That still point, deep within the garden of being, which holds keys to enjoying your life no matter what strikes you, allowing space for life to remain precious when you face life-threatening cancer treatment. In order to be effective the treatment is rough, it can kill you. So… you better get ready. This is a time to re-new your contract and decide IF living suits you well enough to cling to all lively, joyous, and creative pursuits. For those who have lost their path, or never had a clear route toward fulfillment, cancer maybe a chance to save their own lives by using the opportunity to connect with others and thereby forming a “Cancer Circle,” of which they are the center. It could be that this is the chance to meet new people with whom to relate, commune, and move forward.

My husband, Dr. Hartmuth C. Kolb came up with the motto “when we get bad news: we celebrate/when we get good news: we celebrate”, which is at the heart of this Cancer with Style system.“

New Year’s Eve 2016/17 – Caviar and “champagne”

The original “Cancer Blessing,” was discovered by my talented medical oncologist, Dr. Lawrence Piro upon the discovery that my chemo-therapy treatment had to be interrupted to perform an open-heart-surgery… but that is another story.

Caridad, the weekend after the diagnosis in July 2009

I write with the intention of providing you with a chuckle or, at least, 23 good reasons to laugh in the face of death, a useful fresh perspectives, and empowerment in these times of turmoil.

Please take care and know that I am thinking of all the people out there; losing their hair, having breasts amputated, or otherwise facing profound changes; in order to continue to embrace the bliss of breathing.

Love,

Frau Kolb”

This list of 23 Cancer Blessings is based on my experience dancing with rather than fighting against cancer. Because of my BRCA2 mutation, there was little I could have done to avoid having cancer (cf., however, my Angelina Jolie article), yet there is much I’ve done to enjoy life while undergoing treatment. All in all, my life has expanded and become more fulfilling during my dancing time.

I’ve traveled more. I made time and space in my life for creativity in a way that keeps me connected and vital. Talkinggrid is one of the out comes of my stretching wingspan into areas that were my dream territories: publishing and professional writing, being every reading girl’s ultimate dream. I invite you to join me on this worthy voyage, the art of making peace with yourself and enjoying every second of your life as it is. Yes, you are going to get treatment. This advice is NOT about PRAYING CANCER AWAY

Hawaii 2016, after nearly dying a few months earlier

1.) Cancer means you must stop, take a deep breath and LOOK at yourself. This is the ultimate opportunity to take stock of your life. This is the part of the movie of YOU where you find out what really matters and who really cares. Do not be surprised if some of the people you thought would be present for you are not. Let them go. Be OPEN to the new LOVE that can and will support you.

2.) YOU have zero time to waste. You must focus your depleted energy wisely in order to make it from one day to the next. Cancer is a serious condition and minimizing it, is a strategy I employ. Yet, I’ve never backed down or stepped away from treatment. I’ve EMBRACED LIFE, thus finding strength that isn’t mine, borrowing it from my husband, my friends, and the world… remembering that my drama is but a drop in the galactic sea of mystery. Enjoying the ups and down, of the eternal “red-wine sea…”

3.) Address the issues: this is time to educate yourself, apply the SEVEN BOOK RULE, which is Frau Kolb’s favorite success tool: read seven books about your type of cancer. Why seven? Because then you will have an informed perspective and know what to ask your doctors. YOU better learn the basics of what others have endured or in order to find the treasure buried in the middle of this surreal landscape.

4.) Find an advocate who deeply cares about you when dealing with doctors, getting tests done and making decisions. Make sure you and your advocate take notes during your meetings with doctors, and be ready for them with lists of questions.

5.) Become very friendly with your doctors. Share the jokes you read, hear, and love with them and they will LOVE seeing YOU and YOU will get better care. Bring them a copy of a great book you just read. LOVE them and they will care about YOU, more. Moreover: being the favorite patient of a great doctor has many social benefits. Be super NICE to medical staff, after all, they have your life in their hands. Don’t forget your “please and thank you, for the bed pan,” Because if you are given treatment that is fair and kind you are blessed. Be grateful. Don’t forget that flirting with your medical staff is one healthy way of keeping everyone’s spirits UP!

With Dr. Piro at his John Wayne special service award celebration

6.) IF you did not put together the perfect care team for yourself, remember that as long as you live you can always make changes. Always. All you have to do is use your words, ask nice, play fair, and be sweet on change to get it.

7.) Don’t just cut the cancer out, radiate it, take the chemo: do what you must. Do it fast. Do not hesitate because everyday counts. Cancers are not full of pity. They will eat you! Embrace the rigors of radical treatment as long as you can and IF your condition is beyond bad… well take your meds, Champagne, and let Oscar Wilde and Dorothy Parker get the table ready for you when you hit the perpetual dinner party in the sky, do it with panache. Every time you make a decision that prolongs your life and helps you enjoy being here you are blessed. So enjoy making choices with your team of friends and family headed by an advocate, which ideally is someone educated and good at record keeping, someone BOLD and deeply INVESTED in your success.

8.) Soon, you will have access to heavy duty pain medications. Take it slow! Follow directions. But, we gotta be grateful that they exist. They work better than a mallet to knock you OUT for a restful night of much needed sleep. When it really hurts, thank goodness, for Vicodin! Do not abuse your medications. Yet, use them to help you leap across the parts too far from ease to be healthy. In other words, don’t suck up the pain, take a prescribed pill when you require it. If you live where it is legally available, Medical Marijuana works for nausea and other “chronic,” conditions. It may also help with mood swings and depression, just request the right strains. There are strains, “Indicas,” that put you right “heavy,” state for sleep and other strains, “Sativas,” that help stamina, creativity, and giggles. You no longer have to smoke, the aroma(s) offends, because they have a wide variety of edible: tea, honey, candies, bagel chips, and lemonades infused with THC and immune boosting CBD. Try it only if you feel comfortable with the idea. I LOVE it because it makes me feel like a naughty teen to take a bong hit in my boudoir. Anyway… you might find you like the staff at the dispensaries.

9.) This is your chance to cash in all favors and make all the outrageous requests you desire. Go for it! No one will fault you. Finally! Freedom to be a cancer DIVA is a blessing. Use this chance to say the important things to the important people. BE REAL. Stop being so nice IF it hurts you. BE GENEROUS with the praise and gratitude for every little courtesy or good vibe others will show you. Listen to each person that comes to you as though they were an angel delivering messages from god. LISTEN.

10.) FORGIVE! Forgive everybody for everything. Now is time to LOVE and feel one with every nurse, every waiter, every human that comes and that may care for you if you OPEN your heart to loving everybody. Yet, this doesn’t mean that you forget that some people are toxic. Let those people go and embrace the ones that love you NOW. Did you do something BAD, hurtful to someone, long ago… maybe? Write the victim of your misdeed, a letter, ASK for FORGIVENESS, mail it to yourself, and IF and only IF after reading it yourself and feeling it would make the person receiving it feel GOOD, then mail it to the injured party. Rest assured that accepting responsibility for the fact that we all hurt others, either on purpose or by “accident,” is a good thing for it allows us to shed the weight of unpaid energetic debts, of love and caring that was absent, when it is the mandate of life that we love, in order to be loved.

Love and prayers – with Caridad’s niece, Emily Prince-Ralby

11.) When you have CANCER your time is officially YOURS! Now: you must focus and use your energy like a laser to create GOOD in your world. This is a time to pray, IF that works for YOU, to sing, to turn inward, and rejoice because YOU are ALIVE. Take time to watch leaves fall in slow motion from autumn trees or the snow melt and freeze. It is time for reading novels in bed, to go on Long sunset walks, and to spend more time with your friends, family and your pets.

12.) Have a daily belly laugh. Yes, this is time for comedy. This is time for laughing until others in the chemo-center give you funny looks. Make a practice of laughing. Call your funniest friends. Watch humorous movies.

13.) This is a time when tradition comes in handy. Tap into who you are and what your people do at times of crisis, then select what works, discard the fist fighting and drunken orgies, do adopt the customs of other cultures that might fit your mood and help you enjoy life more.

14.) The leaner, fitter, stronger you are the more likely to recover from your sometimes grueling cancer treatment and the long periods of testing/uncertainty. So, WALK! Better yet, RUN! EAT BETTER. More fresh—organic is best—Food! Cook more or rather invite friends over, they can help you cook/clean because now that you are the dancing with the cancer blessing you are now in the position to graciously accept help, love, and support. Self care is central to success in coping with any major crisis. This is really the time to pamper yourself. So… ramp-up your bath routine. Bath oils, salts, candles, lotions, scrub-brushes, and abrasive bathing gloves. None of it is “expensive,” really but when you really get going you can make a very nice day of being in the tub, especially as you undergo treatment.

15.) When your looks are gone, erased, you must learn to paint on a happy face or… be a blank slate. Pick. Do. Make-up is said to boast the immune system. Don’t neglect your basic hygiene. Taking time to brush your teeth and put on a pretty scarf or a big macho cow-boy hat which will make others laugh and question your identity… GOOD MOVE!

16.) Learn something totally unrelated to your new condition. Focus on learning Italian, for example. You always wanted to learn French. This is the moment to go to the public library and take out the Farsi tapes or the Swahili. What would you like to learn? Investing yourself in picking up NEW skills will give you strength to face this new reality.

I have a enough reading to last me a few weeks! Hah!

17.) Plan a no-expense spared trip around the world for yourself. Of course, you won’t go. Yet, you will really think about the trip. How you would travel… Where you would visit… The schedules of luxury cruise ships are available on-line; image yourself in the Penthouse Suite, if this appeals to you. If not… are you backpacking in the Andes? Tell me, where will you go? Read guide books and learn about what to expect when you arrive. The trip should be long and lavish. This is so much more pleasant to focusing on the HORROR, the HORROR of treatment.

18.) Ever wanted to meet someone famous… well, if you are terminal… you might consider addressing a request to their press/public relations representatives and respectfully request a visit from… you are very likely to get what YOU want, now… Brad Pitt… David Bowie… or… Adele. Watch out! Because, you really have the power to pull powerful people IN by being beautiful despite the medical drama. Use it.

19.) Visit churches, landmarks, and museums. Enjoy the public spaces of your cities. The grand architecture or natural wonders of the world deserve your attention even if they are only around the corner. Shake it UP! You don’t have to be the version of yourself you have been thus far. Part of you will be forever changed by treatment and the new you is yours to chisel into the you, you are now. Allow the cancer to be a reason why you step into being your true self in public. It empowered Frau Kolb by forcing her to make time for creativity, art, and other sources of profound delight. Cancer can be a license to finally focus attention on loving yourself in order to make ease-rich (the opposite of dis-ease) choices.

20.) In other words, make the cancer work for you. Yes, there are resources assigned and available to people undergoing cancer treatment. Just telling someone, that you have cancer, can make them cut you some slack. This is not a card I advise using frequently but when you must, whip it out with flourish and revel in the fact that there are many CANCER BENEFITS for you to enjoy.

21.) If you believe in heaven: make a list of all the people you look forward to feasting with in the afterlife. In heaven, I’m convinced that, you can have dinner with Augustus, the ancient Roman Emperor, Ben Franklin, and Anna Nicole Smith, all together, at their prime, forever available, because in heaven YOU can be two places at once, I’m certain of it… IF you like! If you don’t believe, well make a list of who you would like to see if heaven were real and you will tickle (I swear) your grandmother’s spirit when you list her. Go for it and feel the good vibes of every human you list, no matter how “long-gone,” kissing you and loving you no matter how vicious the pain or ugly the bruising… you have the long line of human fortitude to tap into. Revel in the fact that you come from tough people and that tough people bite the dust, too.

22.) Give some money, a dollar or two counts, to cancer research. Hardworking scientists give up their youths, studying, and learning so that they can create effective cancer medications for us. Don’t believe that cancer medications are anything less than miracles and every time you drink a pill down, bless the water.

23.) Threshold states are FUN! What could be more exciting than being near death? You don’t know when its coming but rest assured it will. If you can learn to enjoy this state you might just live forever. Hah!

Posted on August 2, 2017August 2, 2017 by Frau Kolb

A dying mother’s advice to her children: The “More Than Ten Commandments”

In the face of death, Caridad Kolb wrote these final words of wisdom to her beloved children to guide them through their teenage years. She wrote these guidelines, knowing that she wouldn’t be there for them in person, only in spirit. These are words that teach Love, Kindness, Dignity and Respect.

Best wishes,

Hartmuth Kolb

Caridad B. Kolb: “Dear Luke, Annabella, and most of all my beloved Papi,

Here are my More Than Ten Commandments to YOU:

Love is GOD/Goddess/Goodness. Love is what you owe yourself. Love is living your life with dignity. Love your father, brother, sister, and mother. Love is forever. Love NEVER dies. Love is caring. Love is kindness. Love is action. Love is forgiveness. Love is NOT FORGETTING. Love is never a theory. Love is a gentle touch and focused listening. Love is learning to be a better person, everyday. Love is feeling gratitude for life and respect for the living.

Reading, thinking, kindness, and courtesy are life skills. Together, these four habits will give anyone a better life. Any problem in life can be dealt with by staying calm and reading, always apply the Seven Book Rule. Read every day. Study best in the morning and read before bed. Discuss books. Become friends ONLY with other avid reader/thinkers because only smart people will be able to be good—loyal— friends to you when you need them. True friendship requires thought. Thoughtful people have learned how to control themselves and think out many potential solutions to whatever problems they face. Notice how people behave and remember that who-ever you spend lots of time with you will become more like them. So… BE SELECTIVE!

Exercise, as in physical activity, must be integrated into daily routines. Walk to work/school (always paying attention where you are going, always notice who follows you, avoid being kidnapped). Walk the dog after a healthy dinner (organic meat and veggies). Ride your bikes, often. Play sports. Skiing. Sailing. Basketball could be a good ticket for Annabella. Baseball might be just the right sport for, Luke. Soccer is good for both. Music instruction helps brain development and relaxation. Classics, mythology, and theology are good supplemental interests. Cooking, knitting, dance, sewing, piano and painting classes upon classes for both kids… LANGUAGE ARTS: communication, the more languages you speak fluently, and politely, the BETTER!

Sex is serious. Save it for the people YOU really LOVE and TRUST. YOU will not be ready for SEX until your body is fully developed and you are able to take care of yourself, incase a baby is made… then IF you decide have a child, you can count on us to help you with whatever choice YOU make. Daddy and Mommy are always around to help. Share your body, your kisses and hugs, only with people that are clean, careful, and promise to share themselves only with you. Be careful because, unless you are ready to have a BABY you should not do what it take to make babies, which is having sex.

BE AWARE that some people will be willing to steal your heart or your things, to trick you, to hurt you for money or for FUN (Evil people actually enjoy hurting others. Your pain is their pleasure). YOU can avoid getting hurt by paying attention and being aware that when some people get close to you it is not with good intentions. So always watch, listen, and learn and change your plans in response to new information. IF a person is mean to you once, be aware that they are very likely to make a habit of it, and become meaner. EVERYTHING GETS EASIER with practice and the more you practice anything the better you will become at it. Thus… GET AWAY from mean people as soon as you realize they are not caring. Be aware that others may be jealous that you know how to behave and take care of yourself/possessions and mostly they don’t. Remember, most people’s parents do not invest the time/energy/love we have focused on YOU.

You must protect yourself. Learn to say, “No Thank YOU!” To anyone that wants/tries to give you trouble or trick you into trying risky behaviors or doing damage to your body, for example, you will meet people that will offer you smoke, pills, powders, injections, and even candies that are designed to make you feel FUNNY. They will claim that these substances will make you feel good. BE AWARE that anyone selling or giving you drugs is a BAD PERSON, trying to trick you, use you, hurt you, and make you a slave.

Addiction is one of the worst forms of slavery. Some of the worst poisonous street drugs will make you crave/want to have more and more of them, while making YOU feel sick, when you don’t have money to pay for them. (Some people end up committing crimes to get money for drugs.) This can happen to anyone that uses drugs or alcohol with urgency. Observe people and DON’T FALL INTO this common trap. Be careful with what you put in your body and do NOT accept people into your life that use addictive substances, drugs, or exhibit “risky behaviors.” There are many people that are addicted to gambling, overeating, and other “thrill,” experiences. Notice people’s habits, hobbies, preferences, and statements. Listen to them. Do not become friends with people that are sneaky. Be aware of what others eat, do, say. Stay away from people that seem focused more on FUN than on doing their daily work. There is no shortcut to learning in life. YOU must work everyday to become a good grown-up like Mommy and Papi.

You must decide who is a worthy acquaintance and who you are better off avoiding. YOU must pay attention, in order to avoid, inviting drug addicts and/or other types of criminals into your world. They are dangerous and unreliable people. They fell for the lie(s) of other tricky people and now they want to lure you into their world of evil. Yet, by paying attention you can distinguish good from bad people and create lasting relationships with worthy, well raised, people that have self respect and self control like YOU!

Tattoos are a BAD IDEA. The people that get them have a harder time getting and keeping good jobs. Don’t do this stupid thing to your beautiful skin. Take care of yourself, your hair, hands, eyes, BODY. Your body belongs to you and NO ONE has the right to touch you. YOUR Mother and FATHER will always LOVE you and protect you. WE care. We are strong. If anything happens to one of us, THANK GOD and GOODNESS you will always have our LOVE, which we have already given you. Fortunately, we have been able to spend more time together than most parents will EVER spend with their children, already. Remember to thank god that you have had, already, so much LOVE. Thank god for your LIFE everyday and everyday become a better person.

Self respect and Self control are the most important traits. You cannot control others. YOU must, therefore, control yourself to stay calm and alert, always learning, thinking, and avoiding problems.

Observe others. Pay attention. Learn names. Look at people’s faces when they speak to you. Answer questions with full sentences. Listen to people, think about what you will say BEFORE speaking. PLAN your LIFE.

Protect yourself and be aware that most people are NOT taught to think, read, or eat properly LIKE YOU. Keep your observations of other’s short comings to yourself but always improve your behavior. NOTICE what works: when you behave yourself people will like you, you will have friends, FUN, and a good life. IF you cannot listen you can and will get in HOT WATER. So… make good choices. BE SMART. Stay close to each other, make time to listen and learn from each other, stick together.

Reading List:

“The Elements of Style,” by Strunk and White
“How to Win Friends and Influence People,” Dale Carnegie
“The Rules,”
“RED FLAGS,”
“How Children Succeed,”
“Teach your Child to think,”
“A Short Guide to Writing About ART.”

Books on personality, people watching, bird watching, gardening, art history, dogs, human nature, anthropology, meditation, cults, brainwashing, predators, criminology, self-defense, and nature…. Are important. Develop your mind, body, and know that you will be prized for your knowledge and remembered by your loved ones.

Yours truly,

Caridad B. Kolb”

Posted on August 2, 2017August 5, 2017 by Frau Kolb

Cari’s Favorite German Sourdough Bread

Cari has always wanted me to write on her beloved Talkinggrid. She wanted me to talk about my recipes, my holograms and adventures in building computers.

Hartmuth’s recipes and adventures in building computers and making holograms

Today, I will begin this adventure by sharing with you a recipe for German sourdough wheat rye bread that I have perfected over the past year. I make this bread every single weekend, because I have hungry customers (my kids) at home. Many people think of German bread as being very dense and heavy on rye. This is not the kind of bread that I am talking about. The recipe below will give you an “artisan bread” that is quite soft and flavorful. When you read the description, you may think that this is quite a lot of work. Once you get into the routine, however, it isn’t bad and the reward is a nice loaf of freshly baked bread.

Please do not hesitate to contact me with any questions you may have.

Best wishes,

Hartmuth Kolb

First, the sourdough starter…:

This is sourdough bread, so you will need to have a starter. Some people create this from scratch using “wild” yeast from the air. Being a chemist, I like to have a little more control of that process. I tried several commercially available starters and the Breadtopia sourdough starter gave me just wonderful results. You can buy it on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002C0E5VG/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

It comes as a patch of living sourdough that you will need to dilute and restore to full potency. This process is quite simple and consists basically of adding water/flour (40:60) every 12 hours. By doing so, you will eventually end up with 2 cups of fully functional sourdough sponge, which you will use as your stock for the recipe below. The sourdough can be kept in the refrigerator for 1 week without feeding, so don’t worry, you don’t have to feed it every single day, like you would have to do, if you kept it at room temperature.

Next, you will “expand” your sourdough stock to make fresh sourdough sponge for your bread:

Take the sourdough stock out of the fridge and let it warm to room temperature (1-2 hours). Stir it carefully to turn it into a homogeneous mixture.

Take 1 cup of the well-stirred sourdough culture and pour it into a separate container. You now have 1 cup remaining stock and 1 cup in the new container, which will be used for your bread. In a separate measuring cup, make 2 cups of a homogenous, i.e. well stirred, mixture of water and flour (40 : 60). Add 1 cup of this mixture to the remaining sourdough stock to bring it back up to 2 cups, and the other cup to the second container. So, now you have 2 cups of sourdough sponge each in the original container (to keep for future use) and in the new container (for your bread).

Cover both containers to avoid contamination and evaporation and leave them at room temperature over night.

Next morning, stir both mixtures. You will need to feed your stock (but not the sponge that you will be using for your bread) before returning it back to the refrigerator for the week. To do this, you take out 1 cup, which you discard. Then you add 1 cup of water / flour (40:60) mixture to the remaining 1 cup and stir carefully (now you have 2 cups again). Put on the lid and put the container into the refrigerator for the week.

The 2 cups of well stirred sourdough sponge that’s left will be used for bread making “as is”, see next paragraph.

Now we will make the dough:

In a mixing bowl add the following ingredients:

Salt: 2 flat teaspoons (Don’t add more than that, because it retards the yeast)
Ginger: 1 pinch
Citric acid: 1 pinch (both ginger and citric acid activate the yeast)
Sugar: 2 flat tablespoons
Dry yeast: 3/4th flat teaspoon (this is optional, but it makes the bread a bit more fluffy)
Lecithin powder: 1 flat teaspoon
Water: 1 cup (~80F warm)

Stir this until the mixture is homogenous, cover the bowl with a towel and let it stand at room temperature for 15-30 minutes to allow the yeast to activate.

Then add the following ingredients:

Oil: 2 tablespoons (I usually use sunflower, grape seed or walnut oil).
Bread flour: 3 cups (I usually use King Arthur’s organic bread flour)
Rye flour: 1 cup
Wheat germ: 2 tablespoons (this is optional, but adds to the taste)
Flax seed flour: 2 tablespoons (again optional, but this definitely adds to the taste).
Sourdough sponge: The entire 2 cups.

Stir everything in a dough mixer for 15 minutes. You will notice that the dough is still quite liquid. While mixing, add 1 more cup of bread flour spoon by spoon until you get a nice dough that doesn’t stick too much.

Folding the dough and rising:

The dough does tend to stick a bit, so I recommend that you spray a little bit of oil on the surface that you will be using for the dough folding. You will also want to spray your hands with oil. Then, put the dough on the oily surface, pull out one corner and fold it back to the center. Do this in clockwise fashion, i.e. next pull out another corner at the “1 o’clock position” and fold it back to the center, then at the “2 o’clock position” and so forth.

Once this is done, turn it over and place it in a thinly oiled container for rising. This container should be able to accommodate more than 2x the volume of the dough. You will notice that this folding technique creates a dough bun that has a very smooth surface. Spray a thin layer of oil on the dough surface and loosely cover the container with cling wrap to prevent it from drying. Then let it rise for about 3-4 hours in a warm place until the dough has doubled its volume. The exact rising time depends on the activity of your yeast/sourdough. Be careful that the dough doesn’t “jump” out of the container. This has happened to me on several occasions…

Toward the end of the rise, prepare your 10 inch round Banneton Proofing Basket. Cover it with cheese cloth (or the provided liner), and add a good layer of bread flour. Here is a link for the proofing basket that I use.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01GEL00K8/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Fold the dough again in clockwise fashion, as described above, and added it to the floured proofing basket. Spray a thin layer of oil on the dough surface and cover the basket loosely with the cling wrap and put the whole basket into a clean plastic bag to prevent it from drying.

Let the dough rise a bit more at room temperature (~1 hour) and then put it into the refrigerator over night. This dough can be kept in the fridge for at least 2 days, so if you want to have fresh bread in the middle of the week, just keep it in the fridge until you are ready for baking.

Finally, we will bake the bread:

Take the dough out of the refrigerator and remove it from the plastic bag. Let it warm up for about 1 hour.

While waiting for the dough to warm up, preheat the oven to 330F. I have a pizza stone in the oven, which makes for a nice crust on the bottom. In addition, add a pan with water in the oven in order to generate steam.

When you are ready to bake (the oven is hot, the dough is no longer cold, the water in the oven is generating steam), remove the cling wrap from the dough and quickly turn over the proofing basket onto a baking paper sheet or, better, a Non-Stick Silicone Baking Mat. Remove the proofing basket and the cheese cloth gently, so as not to break the dough’s skin. Here is a link to the silicone mat that I use:

Use a sharp knife to carve a cross into the surface and immediately place the dough into the pre-heated oven. Close the oven door and immediately set the heat to 390F. Bake for 20 minutes, which causes the dough to rise and form the beginnings of a nice crust. After 20 minutes, open the oven door, cover the loaf with aluminum foil (to prevent the crust from getting too dark), close the oven door and set the heat to 340F. Bake for another 32 minutes.

Voila, you are done. You now have a beautiful German sourdough rye bread. Enjoy!

In my next installments, I will describe recipes for pizza, pretzels, and sourdough French bread. Stay tuned!

Posted on March 10, 2015March 10, 2015 by Frau Kolb

A Naive Artist on The Fine Art of Believing

Usually, I manage to skip over obstacles. Cancer, advanced cancer, intensive treatment: NO Problem! Just POP on a cute wig and keep going, show up, flirt with the doctors, look at all the pretty machines. Be NICE to the nurses. Enjoy all the attention!

You want my blood? Ok, here you go.

May, I have a Champagne, oysters after my treatment? Great! All is well.

Yet today I feel down. I feel the weight of all the treatments, the waiting, the constant pricks and memories of nurses freaking out because I’ve no veins left for them to fill with poison. Some might say, that I’ve no right to feel down. I have a husband that loves me, great kids. I’m not hard on the eyes. I’ve got a home. I’m not pan-handling on the Bowery. Could I please just shut up and let others shine?

This morning, I was remembered how I fell for Hennessy Youngman. Remember him? The artist, Jayson Musson, created an alternate persona, an hip-hop urban art historian. HY was so perfect. So refreshing, finally someone like me, informed on art, yet with ghetto flair. He wore funny hats, baseball caps, with Elmo or Spiderman Eyes. That alone should have tipped me off to the fact that the Penn University MFA was spoofing his audience, playing with expectations, making a cunning statement about racial stereo typing.

Yet, at the end-of-the day I’m a girl from Washington Heights, a child of immigrants, who came to the United States convinced that they’d find a better life and they did. I managed to attend and graduate from an Ivy league school with a degree in art history and just as incredibly I married and am married to Dr. Hartmuth Kolb, from Germany. Yes, I’m lucky. I’m lucky that six years after the initial diagnosis, losing my breasts, undergoing so many surgeries, metastasis to the brain, grand mal seizure, brain surgeries, heart surgery (to correct the birth defect that would have done me in, at birth, if I hadn’t been born 2.2 pounds, three months

premature.) the whole enchilada, and I’m still here.

Fact: it isn’t easy. I’m a mother, taking care of children, making sure that they stay on-track with their studies and HAPPY. I can’t afford to be morose. I have to focus my energy on happiness, on love, on continuing to learn and laugh. Hennessy Youngman, came to me at a time when I was very active on the edges of a fast moving and apparently amorphous art world. I was going to Art Fairs, documenting the journeys, and participating in a quest to understand contemporary art, and get out of my art historical comfort zone. I was painting, pushing to sell pieces, and participating in group exhibitions to whatever degree was possible. In short, I became an emerging artist just as the cancer was threatening to call a lights out for me.

I’m convinced that most people seeing me, including my doctors, have a hard time reconciling the fact of how I look (young for my age) and my medical history. I was pumped up by fuzzy ambition and desire to participate in this Art game. I extended myself via on-line channels and come into communication with art critic, Jerry Saltz, on-line along with countless others. I felt as though I’d found my tribe and was finally “Home,” among others passionately invested in the art field.

Low and behold, I felt entirely too comfortable and really had no guard up. I was making a spectacle of myself and it was fun. I met a number of very cool and some absolutely insane artists, because as you know, the two seem to be inextricably mixed, madness and creativity, I mean. Moving quickly, I started to see behind the curtains of the art world, at one fair I attended a talk with the head of the Metropolitan Museum of Art and the head of The Los Angeles County Museum of Art. At the same fair I briefly met, Jeffrey Deitch, and impertinently asked him if it was true he was, “leaving MoCa.” He denied the rumor and then, “resigned,” about a month later.

I had a number of interactions with less than friendly art worlders that I’d have welcome as friends, but my bubbly brand of mushy ART LOVE is just too messy for some, too authentic, unschooled, unpolished and in other words, hopelessly: naive.

After medical drama, lunch at Shutters, with the Muse

Posted on August 5, 2014August 11, 2014 by Frau Kolb — 1 Comment

Je thé… Me, Taste Paris, with Jacky Larsonneur

We were early, the first customers of the evening at Je thé… me, a romantic restaurant known for its good food. We crossed the thick curtain covering the door and into a comfortably furnished, tight, dining room. The host, Jacky Larsonneur, tall and erect, is standing at the center of the room, his mischievous blue eyes sparkling. He pounces on us with the grace of a well fed tiger! We were to be his willing prey for the evening. We loved being the center of his sage and savvy attention.

He ushered us to our padded seats and fully welcomed us to his place, with a touch of formality which would be soon brushed away, he instantly signaled that the ancient rules of hospitality were in effect. We had arrived into the care of Je thé… me, a space where we could put our guard down and swallow the delicious fact that we had entered a restaurant unlike any other. Larsonneur has deftly owned and operated the enchanting restaurant for almost three decades. The space is a home away from home, a well polished jewel of romantic corner kitchens, an absolutely perfect, quintessentially French spot. I’ve quietly dreamt of such places my whole life. In New York, we attempt recreate the energy of such spaces… perhaps Balthazar’s succeeds. The shelves are filled with books, tea pots, and other “comforts of home.” The warmly furnished room is acutely inviting, a place to melt away stress and enjoy a fine meal. The Germans call this feeling, “Gemütlichkeit,” which loosely translates to, “cosy,” or “warm and familiar.” It is a complex word, really… yet it fits perfectly in thinking of the warm embrace of the space, the restaurant, Je thé… me… such a sensual name… such an excellent evening, about to unfold.

Le Vin, the wine, cements a new friendship at Je thé... me in Paris, France. — Le Vin, the wine, cements a new friendship at Je thé… me in Paris, France.

“English?” He asks after a few pleasantries in French. He introduces us to his menu. It was poetry in food, just delightful. Salivating over the options, we allowed him to guide us, making recommendations, choosing which wine we drank. At ease in the roll of Culinary Guide, he takes us on a marvelous trip into a familiar yet new world of flavor. We eat and drink with silent reverence. Other guests arrive. First a man with two beautiful Asian women, who sound 100% California. They are seated on the other side of the attractive room. Later, they come to appear flabbergasted, mouths open, eyes bulging, at the wealth of attention we receive from our talented host. Shortly after an older woman and her (likely) granddaughter appear and are seated. Finally, a young blond couple from Denmark take the table next to us, where they proceeded to make-out passionately for two hours. Did they eat food? I don’t know. I was busy scarfing DOWN my entire plate, making every morsel vanish, worshiping drops of reduction sauces, expertly prepared.

I am transported to a purely sensual zone. Ms. Crane, The Muse, sits next to me on the bench, laughing, making funny comments about the cast of characters around us, the universe, and beyond. Hours slip by, we don’t fret. This is a time reserved for eating, drinking, and conversation. My adoring Big German Scientist husband, enjoys the view, across from us and documenting our good time without being intrusive. Speaking of welcome intrusion… did I mention that Jacky planted his laptop on our table and sang to us, old French songs? He did. He sang to us! He serenaded our table! (How’s that for entertainment?) He has a marvelous voice. He popped his laptop on our table and shared with us a video of him, on youtube singing in a choir as a young boy. He was an angel. He sang solo, brilliantly! The camera loved his blond boy beauty. Oh, Jacky! You are a restaurant man beyond compare! What talent! Pure charm! Je thé… me.

The food was divine. Yet, I refuse to divulge the details of what I ate. Eat bite was a discovery, an explosion of flavor in my mouth. No, I won’t write a laundry list of ingredients. No. Exactly what I ate doesn’t concern others… Unless, of course, they man-up NOW and venture beyond the barnyard gate, to Je thé me… in Paris! Once there, I can imagine, a parade of pilgrims, FRANCO-FOODIES by the herd, hereby and henceforth, respectfully paying homage to Larsonneur’s impeccable hospitality, good wine, and super-fresh French food with bus tours (god forbid) and other (less tacky) fanfare. I will just say: that if one does not live to visit Jacky Larsonneur at Je thé… me, is simply missing out on enjoying living, breathing, singing history in action.

There is no television in the historically preserved room. By and large, French restaurants do not bombard you with advertising while you are eating. French food is to be taken s l o w l y, quietly or boisterously depending on the mood. The music, wine, and incredible quality of the food all collaborate to take you to sacred heights within yourself and in communion with tradition. French food is famous, of course, but when you actually sit and eat food that deserves this degree of reverence it changes you.

I will never again be the same woman. I have changed from the inside out, a part of me, my heart… I think… is now––forever–– French. I do not know IF the Potato Eaters at the other tables felt the same AWE over the delicate, fresh, innovative, yet totally traditional FRENCH cuisine, prepared sensitively, and served with intimate flair.

At our table, Ms. Crane, Hartmuth and I were swaying in a whirl of FOODIE JOY beyond general comprehension. It was a secular, intensely sensual, culinary-come-religious-experience. In this mood, of beyond bliss, the hours passed and we continued eating. Finally, we begged Jacky to pick our desserts. He brought one for each and each was pure perfection with the entree, eaten. WE had NEVER had such a meal, such service! The wine… ah… it was sublime. I shall never recover from this re-introduction to what food can be. Food is a potential space-ship with direct shuttles to heavenly JOY! Now, from the shelf, tumbled one of the encyclopedias on France. (OK, I admit, that I could not resist pulling one of the books off the shelf and perusing it, while the ice wine was being retrieved.) The book popped open, before us and there was Jacky, turning the pages to his Chateau… really? Yes, he pointed to a picture in the book and said that this was his family’s country property. Oh… now my American mind wrapped itself around very foreign concept. His Chateau… WOW!

That our host enjoyed our company was demonstrated in that he invited us to stay with him for a few more bottles of wine. We were out till the earliest hours of the next morning, sitting, conversing, laughing like lunatics well past midnight, playing, and dancing with Jacky. The Muse, Hartmuth, and I Frau Kolb… this evening could be the stuff of legend and myth. We were early, the first customers of the evening for Je thé… me. We crossed the curtain and into the room and found ourselves in a new relationship with the world, with life. We were welcome, ever so welcome, so we stayed and renovated our selves, with intensive healing doses of hilarity, studied frivolity, and unfiltered joy expressed in hearty appetites.

The Muse, Jacky Larsonneur, Hartmuth, and Frau Kolb at Je thé... me in Paris, France. Summer, 2014! — The Muse, Jacky Larsonneur, Hartmuth, and Frau Kolb at Je thé… me in Paris, France. Summer, 2014!

From the ether of fantasy and wishful thinking, surrounding Paris and The Muse, that which prompted this life-altering trip to a new return destination, a NEW cultural base for Frau Kolb & The Talkinggrid from which to learn and grow, the health and happiness of yours truly and those that truly crave a slice of a very good way of life, the French Way. I will return again and again to now beloved Paris, France and specifically to see Jacky Larsonneur and the most romantic of restaurants, where we feel in love, not just with the food, the wine, the host, but also with Paris, Je thé… me.

Posted on August 3, 2014November 5, 2014 by Frau Kolb

Born from The Womb Room and Ready to Go!

Drained from racing to the top of a collective dream, we retreated into the refuge offered by the elegantly understated, Hotel Pullman. Our room is done in inoffensive shades of plumy gray. A wide desk, a leather lounge chair, and a generous floor lamp allow for serious securing of ideas and floating impressions, gathered all around The Eiffel Tower, and retrieved from memories of last night’s adventures. Our room is a perfect haven for two tired tourists to recover, before transforming themselves into rare, industrial strength, Urban Butterflies.

Ever competent, Hartmuth, is on his lap-top searching for “The Perfect Restaurant.” Reading reviews in FRENCH, with no difficulty, my husband never ceases to impress me. (He found this, La Fourchette, a website, much like the trusty Opentable.com, website in the United States, where he made our reservation for the evening.)

We coin our affection for the gray on gray, plum room, our temporary HOME by giving it a fitting nickname. “The Womb Room,” embraces us. Soon, we will be born from it, and ready to go out and enjoy what Paris has to offer. At the moment we are content to each melt into our very own perfectly comfortable twin bed, separated by a trim twilight gray on dusty plum nightstand, stacked with Guidebooks and anthologies of short stories set in the contemporary French Capital, which I happily hauled across the Atlantic, in my indestructible, stand out peace-sign print, carry-on bag.

I doze with “First French Reader; a Beginner’s Dual-Language Book,” open on my belly, while my husband continues his intensive on-line hunt for “The Perfect Paris Restaurant.”

WE are hosting The Muse for dinner out tonight! She’d offered to come to our area, in the 7th arrondissement. The Muse! Coming to see us! Hurray! What excitement! Anticipation!

I can not tell you how much fun we had the night before. I really can’t. I won’t. I refuse to reveal just how splendid it was. (I’m hoarding the story, savoring the lingering taste of the mind boggling pleasure of roaming deep into Paris, into the sweet Summer Night, in the quiet and refined company of pure Beauty and Handsome Strength.) In the same league of excellence as my husband, Ms. Crane is an amazing human. She positively thrills me with her keen intelligence and juicy observation skills, an avid people-watcher Ms. Crane makes KILLER cracks about The Audience.

The Audience? Yes, “All the world is a stage,” after all… wherever we go, Ms. Crane and I experience… a surge in public attention, a blanket of external focus, which wraps around us, creating an interesting bulge. Lumpy is the attention hurled at us, everywhere. We only catch that which is useful, wholesome, deftly allowing all the rest to fly past us. Undeniably, The Muse is so beautiful people crave to facilitate, to pave the way around her, and I benefit for this power she wields, without seeming to notice. Yet, from experience I know that THE MUSE notices everything. She is sharp, keen, calm, and alert.

Our friendship sprang from a mutual connection. Yet the force with which it grew, took us all by surprise, like the famous beanstalk, which Jack accidentally planted, our friendship immediately lifted us UP and apart from others. We found in each other a source of the most precious fuel. An immediate rush of mutual support and genuine understanding, which yields a bounty of frame shaking laughter, and truckloads of unmitigated earth moving, JOY! Few times in life have I felt such a strong bond for another.

It happens to be that the first time I met Ms. Crane I was in the company of my very best friend. Having flown in from Manhattan, she is a secretive Muse, a blue-eyed lady ninja, who has always had my back. She approved of Ms. Crane, immediately promoting her to “Someone Special,” status. This New York Muse, being an apt judge of character, is always watching out to ensure that I’m aware, paying attention to who plants roots in the garden of my heart, she acts like a beneficent pesticide, killing weeds that seek to spring up and take over the ordered peace I cultivate.

Many are startled or envious of The Muse’s intense physical beauty. The first response is understandable, the second unforgivable. The Muse has green eyes to make emeralds jealous. She is a tiny mountain of dangerous Alpine Curves. What breasts! What body of knowledge! The grooves in her brain must be very symmetrical, electric. Her hair smells of apricot blossoms in ripe summer meadows. She is a living ideal of human perfection, in Frau Kolb’s humble estimation. The desire to climb to new heights in her arms must be universal!

I experience unparalleled pleasure each time she hugs me. Her hugs scoop me up and carry me away from all mundane, ugly, and sinister nonsense which threatens to invade the pristine landscape of my picturesque imagination. That Frau Kolb would gladly travel to the end of the cosmos, to have lunch with The Muse is no question. (The timing of my first trip to Paris is but a token of my commitment.) No friendship can compete with The One that gives you reason to forget all the HORROR and arrive at the simple hilarity of reality. Together, Ms. Crane and Frau Kolb laugh and laugh at all the minor league and rather pathetic, mean people, the two-faced hordes of Los Angeles Liars, the lame Game Players, Aspiring Professional Actors, and cheapskate Name Droppers. We laugh at the pretentious “Grand Dames,” and the cheesy, “The Mean Girls.” In short, we laugh at all those that try and fail to harm us, to damage our enduring sense that living is a worthwhile choice.

We laugh. Laughter heals. Over lunch, or our soon to be dinner, we invite the world to laugh with us and thereby heal itself, because we can not help but roll with mirth when we contemplate our good fortune in having found each other.

This feeling of LOVE is one I know intimately. Yet it is not ROMANTIC in the way that I am thinking of now… I will never forget our first date, he made me laugh right away. His humor cutting through my New Yorker attitude and introducing me to a new vulnerability I hadn’t been able to afford before his muscle and brains came into my life. Thereby, my WHITE KNIGHT books the room for love and laughter, healing, and feeling good. He secures the possibility of my joy. He protects me and provides for me, the way that I always dreamed ONE would. He performs this service and many others promised and did not deliver, without prompting. He is dynamic, active in his LOVE. Because, LOVE is NOT A THEORY! Love is laughter, support, understanding, and flowing fuel into the tank of one’s soul. Love is reciprocal, life sustaining, and energizing on the cellular level. It makes the world spin

NOW, my German Genius has found, “The Perfect Restaurant.” We are dressed. I’ve changed into a long sleeved silk blouse with a coral collar, thick black tuxedo slacks, with a traditional side seam, and I’ve carefully stuffed my swollen foot into platform Prada heals. I’ve applied a dash of make-up and we are ready to GLOW!

Thus, we set off to Je thé… me where we met and established the greatest admiration and affection for the most charming restauranteur and entertainer: Jacky Larsonneur He treated us like old friends on our first visit. We arrived early and stayed well beyond closing, indulging in fabulous French wines and the after glow of a perfect traditional yet innovative dinner to exceed our expectations and etched permanent smiles on our newly adopted French faces.

Posted on July 27, 2014July 27, 2014 by Frau Kolb — 1 Comment

Upon Arrival in The Paris of Frau’s Dreams!

On Thursday… I think this is the first day I was here. I arrived early and exhausted, having guzzled entirely too much Champagne on the plane and barfed several times before landing. I even left my hot pink mobil on the plane and had to turn around when I was already on line to customs and the man, my seat mate, travel buddy, who may have kissed me on the lips, after my first few glasses, departed leaving me his telephone number scribbled on his plane ticket.

Fortunately, I got my phone back, took a taxi, and made it to sleek and immaculate Hotel Pullman, in view of the Eiffel tower. At first the room looked tiny; the balcony, a joke. I began to unpack and put my swollen right foot (which ALMOST caused me not to travel, to chicken out on this seminal voyage… which would have been really terrible) up. In contrast to my expectations, I waited for Hartmuth to arrive before venturing out. As I rested the room grew bigger, unfolding into a lovely well-furnished space to spend a few days. I read one of the many guide books, short stories, and novels I’d hauled cross country and the Atlantic Ocean. I floated off into jet-lagged sleep and when my husband arrived I was dressed and ready to venture out.

Frau Kolb Loves Paris — Frau Kolb is in bliss/shock to arrive in Paris!

Slipping out of the Hotel Pullman, onto the Paris street, “Gustave Eiffel,” we walked like jet-lagged in love zombies, hand-in-hand to the monument. Seeing it up close for the first time is quite the shock. It is so beautiful. She is perfect. I love grids and she is the grid going to town. She is divine. She. “La Tour,” they call her because she is undeniably a lady, a lady that loves her visitors, and welcomes all from every corner of the planet to drool over her long and lovely legs. We did not have the strength to climb La Tour immediately. Our bodies demanded nourishment. Thus, we pushed forward a few steps and went to the Cafe Champs de Mars.

We ordered, “Deux Coupe Champagne,” pate, and escargot. Tears of joy, washed down my face as I took my first sip since barfing on the plane to Paris. I was HOME. I was living the dream, inside the picture, which I’d carried in my head of Paris, made complete by the handsome French waiter, in white dress shirt black vest and neck tie, everyone dresses better in Paris…. even the homeless show so traces of style. My husband squeezed my hand and kissed me. I relaxed and took a sip of sparkling water, feeling blessed to finally be an American in Paris. I’ve dreamed of this very thing, my entire life. So far, there was nothing but bliss in being here. Puking and swollen foot aside… Frau Kolb has arrived. Paris embraces. Frau melts into a happy pat of Parisian sidewalk joy, nibbling on a chewy (delicious) snail (thank you snail for giving me your LIFE) in butter and herbs.

Merci!