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Nude Women in Hot Water

 

You walk down a long hall, that until recently was decorated with small golden lacquer plates sporting swirling calligraphy on scrolls, on which Chinese characters proclaim: LOVE, Friendship, and Happiness.  Yesterday, the plates were not up on the long narrow hall.  The wall was freshly painted, but not wet, with tape indicating that a transformation is in progress.

At the Olympic Spa, they are forever improving the facilities, expanding and refining their vision yet retaining the same staff, the same treatments, and best-of-all the same affordable pricing.  I have visited this Spa for over five years, almost six…  The first time I visited, I had a small lump in my breast, which I did not yet know was cancer. As I discovered that I had a serious medical obstacle before me, the nurturing, meditative bathing, and social silence of the spa became a haven for my battered body.

The location was less sleek, smaller, just the core rooms of wet tubs, treatments.  No big salt sauna, or fancy bathrooms… just a little restaurant that looked like communist era, in a far away land… it was a trip, from the first dip, to another world.

Lucky Number 23, photo ©Frau Kolb, 2012, at Olympic Spa in Los Angeles
Lucky Number 23, photo ©Frau Kolb, 2012, at Olympic Spa in Los Angeles

The front desk is manned by two or three pretty Korean women.  They smile as you approach and inquire if it is your first time.  If you nod, “yes.” They will explain to you what is to be expected and walk you through the basic etiquette, which ensures that Olympic Spa is a pleasure for everyone that visits.  Unless, perhaps, you are Frau Kolb, they know YOU from a half decade of faithfully enthusiastic patronage of the well run business.  You pay your fee, sign the liability waiver, and you can come in and use all of the facility for a mere $15.00, that is an outstanding value.  Sure the outside of the building is beat-up, the neighborhood is ethnic funky, which I LOVE, and it is NOT Santa Monica.  Nope.

You enter, past the thick double doors which represent the outside world of stress, obligations, and competition, into a structured world of self care, reflection, wet meditation, sweat therapy, and enforced gentle voices… AH!  You put your street shoes in a locker and then proceed in your socks or bare feet to the larger lockers for clothing.  You put away your things and put on a green Olympic Spa robe and then you walk over to the big scale, take your weight, maybe… or you get yourself a cup of barely tea from the urn, and eye the Korean women laying languidly on the jade floor, next to the equally lovely Scandinavian Blonds that speak gently among themselves.  Now it is time for the baths!

Selfie in The Mirror at the Olympic Spa in Los Angeles.
Selfie in The Mirror at the Olympic Spa in Los Angeles.

Pull open the door and take off your robe.  No robes are worn in the bath.  Now you must clean your body before you get into any of the pools, steams, or saunas.  YOU wash.  I like to squat on the little plastic seats and douce myself with water from the traditional long tub of hot water.  I use the little mitts, I purchased for a couple dollars at at the front desk and scrub myself.  Around me women are quietly letting go of burdens, pain, anger… negativity is scrubbed off and washed down the drain. Others shower, before going into the bubbling warm tub, or the healing medicinal Mug Wort Tea, bath in which up to four or five women, quietly group.

Frau Kolb after a super hot soak and scrub!
Frau Kolb, feeling rejuvenated, after a super hot soak and scrub!

I always get the same treatment, The Milk and Honey Smoothie, which begins with having milk, which exfoliates the skin, poured onto one’s horizontal body on a padded table made specially for SPLASH and SCRUBBING. The treatment includes a fresh cucumber face mask and peppermint hair shampoo. Toward the end honey, which nourishes the skin is applied and rinsed off with bails of hot HOT water.  The scrubbing is intense and when I first experienced it, I was overwhelmed and surprised, never having been scrubbed so fiercely or felt so babied since… well… EVER!

I always request this head to toe, Milk and Honey Treatment from the same woman, one among perhaps twenty that work giving bath treatments, she is my favorite.  We connect.  She cares for me, and was/is part of my self care routine and even though she speaks little English I know she has an adult son of whom she is very proud and that she has worked at the Olympic Spa for almost thirty years.  She looks so young, fit, and content in her black bra and panty set, which is the uniform of the women that work, scrubbing and massaging tired mothers, sisters, wives, waitresses, lawyers, and doctors… all the women require nurturing and carving out time to take care of the self is essential to preserving mental equilibrium and personal power.

Once, I went alone to the spa, and my Korean friend was there on her day off, bathing.  We scrubbed each other’s backs, like old friends, laughing.  Another time, I visited with The Muse.  As usual I had the Milk and Honey Treatment and we soaked together in the Mug Wort tea pool, which is the smallest of the three in ground pools which are at the heart of the complex.  The Muse, quickly found her own favorite treatment, she swears by the facials given at the spa.  After our treatments we lounged on the heated jade floor, whispering to each other… before we roused ourselves to lunch, the restaurant being pretty delicious! Look here:

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The Olympic  Spa is traditional in the best sense of the word in that it upholds the tradition of Asian communal bathing and presents it in a way that is accessible to the savvy women of Los Angeles.  The Olympic spa is for women only.  You are welcome to come and relax and women of all types, ages, shapes, and sizes share space and bathe, together.  One avoids starring at others but it is comforting to see the variety of physical forms femininity manifests itself.  Women are universally beautiful if you look at them through a cloud of steam and from the vantage of your own unclothed vulnerability.

 

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Author: Chuck Palahniuk, A Jolting Read at UC San Diego

Tonight at the University of Southern California in San Diego, Frau Kolb attended a reading by author Chuck Palaniuk .  She expected it to be of his new book, “Beautiful You,” which is available on-line and in bookstores, as of yesterday, October 21, 2014.  Yet, the Author, clad in a red silk robe worthy of an Emperor, began the evening by reading a sexually charged car scene that was not only graphic but humorous and frightening AT THE SAME TIME!

The Emperor wears RED!
The Emperor wears RED!

The book, I now have in my collection may or may not “delve deep into the needs of women and what ONE man does to scientifically meet the pressing wants of a billion woman” as I thought it would.  The book, pristine, white… with itchy vibrating red writing on the cover and a bright gold sticker indicating that the book is a First Edition, invites reading.  It is “loaded,” I imagine with penetrative, original, creative, and incisive thinking.

Now, that I was exposed to the author LATEX loaded road show… I’m aghast!

Glowing Balls To be Tossed at Chuck Pallinauk "Beautiful You," event at UC San Deigo
Glowing Balls To be Tossed at Chuck Palaniuk “Beautiful You,” event at UC San Deigo

“Beautiful You,” the reading promised to be, “An event you don’t want to miss with tons of prizes, games, and a sure-to-shock story, and audience Q & A.”  Oh boy!  I’m excited.  My curiosity was aroused!  Yep!  Which is perfect because, the “Better than Sex Tour 2014 Pajama Party,” has the potential to be the book event of my year. (I’ve not attended any other book events targeted to adult readers before.) This event was tailored to reel in the university students, often on the threshold of true maturity and independence, throwing candy corn and GLOWING LATEX BALLS into the audience, the author is a powerful show master.

What TOY could be more suggestive?
What TOY could be more suggestive?
Feeling LIKE leaving...
Frau Kolb is Bored by Boys with BIG GREEN BALLS

I learned of this event via one of my favorite local bookstores, Warwick’s in La Jolla.  I go there to get my fix of paperbacks and hardcovers.  I’m addicted to actual pages.  (I dread the day when electricity fails and there is nothing to read, thus I hoard books.) Mostly, I read books either on or set in China, Japan, and Korea.  Of course, there is Paris… I’m always reading at least one book on Paris.  Of course, Warwick’s in La Jolla has lots of books on Paris and lots of other, thoughtfully selected books of merit.  One could only wish the store was larger!

Bigger!  Greater!  Faster!  These demands, desires for MORE, MORE, MORE may be the driving force behind a book on female sexual pleasure and the Mastermind marketing of sex toys to an army of ever ready women.  I haven’t read the book yet, but I read the author’s brief and gleamed that this book should be more fun than a barrel of monkeys. The opening chapter of the book introduces us to “Penny,” a rape victim, raped in a courtroom, no less… is disturbing, to say the least.

Palahniuk is best know for his novel, “Fight Club,” which lead to the making of a feature film (starring Brad Pitt!).  I saw the movie and haven’t read the book.  I’ve actually never read a Palahniuk book.  Strangely enough… I’ve seen them in bookstores, handled them.  I’ve examined the intricate, compelling cover, of “Choke,” but I’ve not put down the money for my own copy nor have I borrowed a copy of,  award winning “Lullaby.”  I don’t believe I will buy either of those books because I now understand that Palahniuk’s “hidden gun,” technique of writing has the power to blow an unsuspecting reader asunder.  Heartbreaking work, soul crushing writing, Palahniuk is a master manipulator and he knows how to create the kind of book that sneaks up on a reader and delivers a JOLT that might be too much for sensitive souls.

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Oscar De La Renta, Dominican Fashion Designer, Dies at 82

Like both my parents Oscar De la Renta (1934-2014) was born in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic.  Like my father, he was a dominos aficionado.  He was born, “to a Dominican mother of Spanish descent (particularly Canarian), Carmen María Antonia Fiallo, and a Puerto Rican father, Oscar Avelino de la Renta.”  My mother was Dominican of Spanish descent and her mother was a fashion designer.  My grandfather, Rafael Ricart, was a politician, poet, and prominent business man.  His cousin was Octavia Ricart, wife of Trujillo, the dictator’s, son.  So… I imagine that at some point my grandfather and his woman, Maria Dolores, the fashion designer, may have interacted, socially, with De la Renta’s family.  It may not be true, but when I heard, last night, over dinner with my family, that De la Renta was on the way to the Big House in the Sky, I wept a tear, of sadness that I never met the man.

His story, the excellence of his work as a fashion designer, touch me.  “De la Renta’s heritage mixes Dominican great great grandfather José Ortiz de la Renta was the first constitutional mayor of Ponce, Puerto Rico to be elected by popular vote.” Last year I visited Puerto Rico, for the first time.  We stayed near Fajador, at The Waldorf Astoria Casitas Resort.  It was very luxurious but what really made the trip great was the instant kinship I feel with Dominican Republic’s English speaking, neighbors.  In San Jan,  we visited a museum focused on the stories of the Caribbean people.

De la Renta was a citizen of the world. “At the age of 18, he left the Dominican Republic to study in Spain, where he studied painting at the Academy of San Fernando in Madrid, Spain.” He studied painting!  I understand this step to his total mastery of color and form in fashion.  (Frau Kolb paints!) The study of color informs every outfit I’ve ever put together.  In New York, one may wear mostly black, yet… this is only as a means of entry anywhere and protection from urban grime, a film that covers subway seats and hotel beds… Fashion is for me more than a mere spectator sport.  Ease may spring from an aesthetic approach to living.  Wearing clothing that fit, flatter, and reflect one’s values, distinguishes an individual.  De la Renta, knew that people want clothing that helps them look attractive yet blend in.  He was not the most daring of designers.  De la Renta was at the head of a clothing empire, selling everything from perfumes to masses and evening gowns to the elite.  (In New York City, fashion is an everyday fact.  People may wear layers of black, but the awareness that fabric and cut matter, is profound.  On the streets of New York one may read another’s fabric choices, noticing the leather, the cashmere, the better silk blouses.)  To live in harmony with one’s environment and to add an understanding of color… yes… that might be the ideal fashion state.  What more ready self expression than an owning of color theory and clever implementation of the facts, yielding appealing results; black recedes from the eye… HOT PINK, packs punch!

De la Renta, dressed generations of world-class Fashionistas. Jackie Onasis, first lady of American style, wore his designs.  More recently, we have the image of fashion Icon Sarah Jessica Parker strutting, rocking, making an occasion in one of his fantastic frocks.  Spanish goddess, Penelope Cruz and less attractive Hilary Clinton and most… interestingly… Nancy Regan were among his notable political showpieces.

Oh!  How I love to think of young De la Renta, just after he, “began sketching for leading Spanish fashion houses, which soon led to an apprenticeship with Spain’s most renowned couturier, Cristóbal Balenciaga.” (I love Balenciaga!  The best boots I’ve ever had, bought at Barney’s New York in Beverly Hills, and still in operation and favor, a decade later).  It is said, by the writers of wikipedia, that De la Renta, “considers Cristóbal Balenciaga his mentor.”  Imagine that!  (Those relationships, ever so vital, the people we meet, when we are young, and impressionable, turn out to be… our mentors!) I am beyond ready for an excellent bio-film, in which this pivotal moment in the mega designer’s career is explored.

“Later, de la Renta left Spain to join Antonio del Castillo as a couture assistant at Lanvin in Paris.” Again, I can relate to this aspect of his biography in that I adore Lanvin flats.  I was wearing my favorite golden pair we visited the Eiffel tower.  I wore them with a Missioni dress I treasure one of a couple Missioni dresses, which are my go-to, public wear (easy, never too much, Missioni’s knits fit me.). I wear Lanvin flats, habitually.  I’ve had them in “Gunboat Metallic,” and “black velvet.”  I wear them religiously because flat as they look, they conceal a little (magic) heal, which makes them the most comfortable walking shoes with style, I’ve ever known.

I’d love to be a De la Renta woman, that top-notch Fashion forward, clothing conscious woman that distinguishes herself from all others by the monumental quality of her stunning gowns.  Yet, I’ve not worn many a formal gown. I am a California Beach Mom. For many years, I’ve moved in a world where flip-flops are de rigor  and hair combing is optional.  I can count the number of formal events I’ve attended, in my entire life, in one hand. Fashion for me, is less runway and palace, more Gallery and Museum.  Anything, I wear to the the studio becomes trash.  Yet, I’m a stickler for quality in clothes.  I believe in investing in wear that one can depend on.  I’m a fabric fanatic, forever fascinated with cashmere, silk, and cotton.  The significance of wearing comfortable clothing that looks distinct is not to be dismissed.  Yet, the dream of being a princess attired for the world stage is one that De la Renta’s women brought to life.   De la Renta, in his life, designed the dreams to cloth naked souls and give shape to ambitions larger than Texas.

 

 

 

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Nitespa, Mar Vista, Los Angeles: Book a Royal Blast into Autumn Bliss!

New Friends,

Frau Kolb & DJ Frankenstein in front of three "Rush Hour Grids, For New York," Paintings by Frau Kolb, 2011 on view at Nitespa Mar Vista, now
Frau Kolb & DJ Pink Frankenstein in front of three “Rush Hour Grids, For New York,” Paintings by Frau Kolb, 2011

 

I dressed up as a BLACK BIRD, loosely inspired by the blackbird in the delightful coming-of-age love story, “Moonrise Kingdom,” another great film by Wes Anderson. I was feeling shaken, having had a medical emergency earlier in the week. Fortunately, all were forewarned that I was, “mysterious.” Which made my entrance all the more smooth, that and the super tunes spilling from DJ Frankenstein’s turntable, I could have to arrive on a stretcher to the wonderful party arranged by Julia Martin, and I’m sure it would have not offended the super-cool crowd or  the proprietress of the new Nitespa Loft in Mar Vista, on the West Side of Los Angeles.

Frau Kolb with Anne Barron and Christopher Strimbu photo © Jess Barron, 2014
Frau Kolb with Anne Barron and Christopher Strimbu photo © Jess Barron, 2014

 

Lovely Ms. Martin has successfully established new place for our set to meet, hang our hats, get our nails done, a massage, a facial, a needed Brazilian… all kinds of services to help us recover that coveted baby-fresh and pampered GLOW. Nitespa is a space specifically tailored to those that are looking for a more personal, intimate, fitting refuge from the mundane, the coarse, the ordinary, impersonal spa.

(We all have so much to worry about, with ebola, police brutality, social disparity, the cost of living, the tumbling market, the children’s issues, marital demands of fulfilling obligations you never imaged you might ever be expected to meet, all the while maintaining one’s standard of living, in a world where the competition and the caprices of the ancient goddess, Fortuna, are not without a cruel sense of humor.)

Fortunately, Nitespa has expanded. The new location ROCKS! Some of you remember the dilapidated little beauty shack where we drank wine, communed, and got our nails down in Venice, Beach California. It was very hip and easy access. It was near Abbott Kinney Blvd. I’ve written about the spot before. The NEW LOCATION is a true hideout for those needing serious pampering in an indulgent VIP friendly, luxury loft location, which feels like an upscale home, where BEAUTY is welcome to perch.

You really must experience Ms. Martin’s unique sense of urban hospitality.  She is creating a new way of being beautiful, in a breezy easy, health conscious surge of FUN!  Nothing could be better for you than going to Nitespa, in my book.

WE, Julia Martin and I met years ago, when I tripped into Nitespa Venice for a manicure. I was delighted for the white wine she, so graciously, served and the cute Japanese girls that were creating lovely nail art for Julia’s fortunate cliental, including me! My nails wet, I asked Julia to rummage in my big old patchwork leather bag for my wallet. She was amused to discover a little travel bottle of tequila in there (I still, almost a decade later, have that same little bottle… somewhere in my home). Our pure connection was instantaneous, we felt ONE with each other’s fun loving spirited being!

Over the years our friendship has grown. Other less firmly founded, connections from that fun frenzied Los Angeles period, have faded away. In contrast, I am continuously impressed with J. Martin’s unique sense of urban hospitality. The astounding tenacity and insight of a woman with goals, a family, and a business to run is a wonder to behold and an inspiration for anyone. She managed to keep Nitespa on the map, in Venice, while so many other businesses folded in the high rent, high density area, jammed with trendy restaurants and slick boutiques competing for clients among the cash strapped, the striving, and the few that are flush, alike on the pure force of her personal charm and dedication to providing excellent beauty treatments to extravagant eccentrics and other demanding divas. She managed this feat by being a friend to her neighbors and an active part of the local art and business community.

"42nd Street, Times Sq. Grid," acrylic painting, 24x30", 2011, by Frau Kolb
“42nd Street, Times Sq. Grid,” acrylic painting, 24×30″, 2011, by Frau Kolb

A supporter of artists, including me (notice that four of my paintings are now available for viewing at Nitespa’s beautiful big white walls…) , Julia Martin has earned her place of recognition, trust, and affection in the west coast art community, from San Francisco to San Diego Julia Martin is LOVED and her following grows more staunch, loyal, and determined with each year of her continued success. No wonder that with so many beauty options available in Los Angeles, those in the know, have come to prioritize the ever-soul replenishing treatments offered at her open yet exclusive beauty hide-out and become her frequent VIP guests. Julia’s new Nitespa location is spacious and private with comfortable treatment rooms and a full kitchen available. Her space is a place where we can face ourselves and make time to ponder matters of personal and public significance in a comfortable, yet luxurious, Townhouse loft.

 How do we tune into our selves and find time for all the parts of our being that might otherwise be neglected?

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(I’m so glad I managed to get my act together and appear as Frau Kolb, in full Frau Kolb verbosity, at Julia Martin’s Royal Moonrise, Wes Anderson tribute party, on Saturday Night. Especially because, I was the Guest of Honor!) I’ve NEVER had that happen before.  I’m touched!

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Friendship is the answer. Last week, Frau Kolb had the pleasure and privilege of being honored by the honey eyed-genius, behind the living vision of intimate manicures and memorable massages, Ms. Julia Martin… a unique source of good in the world of Beauty. She is now The West Coast Beauty Muse for Talkinggrid as of last week’s splendid display of magnificence in entertaining a fun-loving group of way-ward intellectuals, part-time revelers, and party crashing troubadours in search of cosmic booty! What a grouping of interesting humans! I even had the pleasure of a powerful art chat, with an informed and active art collector, residing in Santa Monica! (He promised to have us over for dinner that we may enjoy his private art collection. Imagine that! )

 

We had a blast!   The magic number of cool, elegant, educated, chilled-out, party-people, sipping cocktail punches presented with faultless aplomb by the excellent Ms. Martin. For the party she wore a short fur and a stripped dress, a loose interpretation of Margo Tennenbaum’s smeared eye liner, big fur routine,  in Talkinggrid’s favorite movie, by Talkinggrid’s favorite director.

We were hoping Owen Wilson would just magically show UP at the party. I prayed for his super-coolness to just appear, but alas he did not. We did, however, enjoy discovering a lemon juice soaked ONE dollar bill inside a lemon… thanks to magician, who entertained us with the old fashion slight-of-hand the soul craves and somehow, my Post Paris Blues have VANISHED! I am cured!

Thank you, Julia Martin, superlative hostess, proprietress, and vision behind the one-and-only Nite spa, Mar Vista for a more than merely wonderful evening. It was a true pleasure and I can’t wait to come in and have lovely French, Pascal take care of my visage and lovely Christina to paint my nails, like little masterpieces, each one.

Thank you.

 

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Constantine Finehouse’s Sushi Cure for Paris Nostalgia

 

Autumn in San Diego, California, 2014

The sun dips into the sea earlier each setting.  Summer flings are winding down.  A tidy sorrow, fine and knit of tiny mistakes collected over many seasons of living, wraps itself around you… Paris, is a vivid recent memory and you tend to it by reading the history, the canned memories, and the predictable novels set in the twenties, when Hemmingway was a young buck, pushing a pen around with the force of a bayonet.  The reading soothes… yet… longing for those little plastic-wicker chairs outside cafes where people sit and read and people watch… how I miss them!

Frau Kolb is in San Diego, California, gripped by a bad case of Paris Nostalgia.  POST-PARIS BLUES threatens to strangle our pleasure in being here.  How is that?  I mean, Paris… yes… is wonderful.  But, hummingbirds and butterflies are not at home there!  In contrast to the urban wonder of Paris, San Diego is defined by its still unspoiled open spaces and natural beauty.  Blue sky triumphant like a blanket of possibility, stretches across the rusty mountain tops in the distance.  Nature, wild and inviting, canyons and mountains, call out to those that love to hike.  Usually, this bounty of being enthralls me.  Yet, now… I keep thinking of the little bookstores in every neighborhood in Paris, which invite a different kind of bounty, an internal exploration, which I so enjoy.

Thank goodness for a perfectly timed visit from a best friend based in Boston, Massachutes. Constantine Finehouse, concert pianist, multi-lingual, multi-cultural, friend to Frau Kolb, long time supporter of The Talkinggrid, POPS into San Diego TO THE RESCUE!  

 

He brings with him urbane sophistication, offhand knowledge of many subjects, and a self reliant independence that makes him the perfect guest.  His only need is to practice piano.  To this end, he heads out… coming and going like a semi-feral cat.  The prey he brings back from his excursions are telephone pictures of another San Diego.  The San Diego of under used upright pianos in churches and universities… so foreign, and near!

Daily we make our way, to safety, to the familiar port, the secure harbor with a “little help from our friends.”  Whenever we care about another that feeling gives us strength to move forward. Friendships are necessary for mental health. Yet, fitting IN is NOT my strength.  I struggle with normalcy and haven’t experienced it much in my life.  I’ve given up on the normal, because I don’t understand them and I don’t think they have much patience for us either.

Fortunately, we gather “a little help from our friends,” who aid us in getting on with, “the business of life.”  I’m grateful that my most sophisticated and sensitive, Male Muse, a friend for more than a decade of meaningful connection, pianist Constantine Fineshouse, came to visit for a long weekend which helped me transition from being the Parisian Frau, to the well adjusted Southern California Beach Bitch, that some believe to be the real me.

Our conversation flows mostly in English, although we met in an advanced Spanish (grammar) class at Columbia University in New York City.  Although, Constantine’s German is nicht schlect,  we rarely speak in German or Spanish.  We met while were students. Our friendship sprang up immediately and has endured various incarnations. We have matured yet we always allow ourselves a little silly surrender to childish playfulness.  The initial spark, which animated the first part of our friendship, a was a delicate little flame, which lasted only a few weeks, snuffed by a small difference in age and my need to go find the real fire to light the hearth that is my heart, capable of warming my soul, for fifteen years going on forever.  The small spark, however endured and has survived.  Today it is used to maintain the spark of the small torch toward the path of this lasting connection, a trusted and cherished platonic friendship, like a temple built on a solid foundation, which also serves to build up the part of me that needs support and maintenance, which gives me strength to find my little patch of cultivated peace in this ever sunny land. How pleasant!

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The fact is that every city, every location, has its merits and San Diego is a town with many fine qualities, besides its beautiful beaches and picture perfect weather. Finehouse, for example, worked his magic on his smart device, (kept hidden, unless needed for specific purposes, Finehouse is NOT one of those people that is constantly fidgeting with his obscenely smart phone). Reading reviews, he finds the perfect a hole-in-the-wall sushi house, next to a parking lot, in an ugly strip mall that serves sushi so good that a line snakes out their door everyday at lunch time.

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The quality of the mostly raw seafood served, had my Boston based, highly sensitive Male Muse, Mr. Finehouse, drooling…

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San Diego offers dreamy sushi!  You know what else…

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In La Jolla, we visited Cafe La Rue at the Hotel Valencia. I needed a dose of Parisian pleasure, no matter that we are so very far from France, the source… Paris, inspires.   The decor invites comparison with that of a traditional Parisian Bistro or Cafe, it has sweet paintings of Parisian Life, done in 1947, the food is good, hearty, my favorite breakfast they serve is the Toad in a Hole, which is totally delicious, not particularly French, and totally the right kind of comfort food to banish the POST PARIS DOLDRUMS alas the waiters, elegant as they are, speak no French what-so-ever and somehow… here, in Southern California, I am an exotic and strange in my demands for a little sip of sparkling ambrosia, whereas in Paris, everyone seems to understand me, my secret language, my arcane tastes, and hidden expectations.  I settled for a glass of, always pleasing, Vueve Cliquot and a nibble of charcuteri and

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(pasterized… American versions of) French cheeses… all was edible enough, even almost ideal… what is missing is that open ended ease of Parisian Cafe Life.  One is not expected to rush off after a meal, from one thing to the next, in Paris.  In the United States eating is something that simply happens for the most part. It is not taken seriously as a pursuit, a focus.  People often eat in their cars.

Cafe La Rue, at 1132 Prospect Street in La Jolla, California is a far cry from being fast food.  Yet, one is expected to eat, pay, and move along. There is no personal touch, no sense that you matter, that your preferences or presence count.  Even though all the waiters and bartenders there are handsome and friendly enough… The missing ingredient, in American cuisine is TIME.  People here rush from one thing to the next and savoring doesn’t happen in the context of coming and going.  It takes time, conversation, expertly prepared fresh food, and a culture that supports the lingering soul to make meals truly touching like the splendid Lunch for One, I had at Cafe Constant in Paris or the incredible marathon evening at Je Thé… me with Jacky and The Muse and Hartmuth Kolb in Paris, France.

 

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Joan Rivers, Burt Lancaster, and Jerry Saltz Waltz Into a Bar…

We interrupt the regularly scheduled writing on Paris by Frau Kolb

For a message from the great pool party in the sky…

Read HERE: choice snippets from a posthumous interview with Burt Lanchaster (Via Sighle Lanchaster) and a moment of glittering reflection upon the work of comedy genius, entertainment goddess, the eternally amusing, Joan Rivers, these two heavenly talents, combine, as the subject of this meandering tribute to “The Swimmer,” Joan Rivers, and Everyone’s Favorite Art Critic… Two Giant Talents reaching from beyond the grave to touch and one living guide into the deep end of art a, “Sister Wendy in Swimming Trunks”.

critique-the-swimmer-perry35Last night we fell into a cult classic, “The Swimmer,”  directed in 1968 by Frank Perry and Sydney Pollack, starring Burt Lancaster, with Janet Landgard and Janice Rule in key roles, plays Ned Merrill, a man with only his swimming trunks left to lose. His mind, he lost sometime before the beginning of the film. He returns into a manicured world of Connecticut glamour. Mansions are backdrops, sets for petty dramas to unfold, poolside. Ned Merill (Burt Lancaster) is a fallen hero, come back from someplace beyond the conventional realm of understanding. He was dead to his friends, a stranger straggling from one former friend’s private pool to the next, for a quick dip in chlorinated symbols of renewal, prosperity.

He never had his own pool. He was a guest, a husband, a father, a lover of beautiful women, and a “suburban stud.” Yes! Burt Lancaster plays the role of a man losing it all with faultless grace. His face made mask-like by what he called, “The Grin,” a special smile, so difficult to read that it might be the emblem of archaic nobility.  Yes, Lancaster plays, “The Swimmer,” with the prowess of an mythical beast trapped in a maze of HORROR.  He is primal, an actor turned animal, so free and beautiful as to be beyond the pale of comparison with another male demigod in any American surrealist film.  This may be the most beautifully shot film of the 1970’s.  Lancaster, holds his mantel of acting genius, wearing only swim-trunks in the lead role of a “major motion picture!” Sighle reveals, the personal detail that the Academy award winning actor, he was going through a divorce, his marriage to my friend, Sighle’s mother, the alcoholic mother of his five children, was unraveling. His personal life was a perfect reflection on his distorted personal experience of reality as a Hollywood Star.

We were watching, “The Swimmer,” because Sighle Lanchaster or I mentioned Joan Rivers’s death, earlier and Sighle informed us that River plays a small role in the classic cult film. Yet, her performance, and her personal acting power, a strong presence able to match the greatness of Lancaster’s toned, tanned, athlete’s body in motion, diving, dripping, a fish in water.

Rivers plays a party person, poolside… looking perhaps for… and then he is there, flirting… bright blue eyes flashing, a vibrating magnet of seductive intention, pulling her toward something deep… maybe wet. She leans toward his masculine beauty, male perfection. She is confused, insecure. She wants to dive in, maybe… runaway with the mysterious swimmer, but then a man calls her possessively toward him, “Joan!” She turns away and The Swimmer drifts back toward the water. His strokes are perfect. Yet he comes crashing into reality as he emerges from the water, on the other side of the gigantic heated purified swimmer’s paradise, a private Olympic size pool.

It becomes all too clear that, he is not welcome by the owners of this particular mansion pool. They throw him out after he attempts to lay claim to a hand painted ice-cream truck, which was once his… from his home… toward which he swims on, running, walking hiking barefoot through fields adjoining the “five acre lots,” of the very wealthy, in a stratified town where middle class business owners are but servants, in a rich man’s world. The ultra rich, stand apart in a self celebrating sphere of private pool glee, are not OPEN to anyone unable to afford the entrance ticket, which requires access to a fortune.

The Swimmer, is shunned by most of his former friends.  He was once an advertising executive, married to a “Vassar girl,” presumably an heiress.   Those that still embrace him, have some meager  purpose for him, now that he is penniless, yet still handsome in his swim trunks, he commands a few invitations to bed and pitiful job offers.  His once-upon-a-time ardent mistress, an actress, of course… reveals that she was always faking it with him, even when they were intimate in her private backyard pool, she didn’t really like it or him. This revelation almost kills him, another well placed blow to his dying ego. She kicks him out. He keeps walking and swimming, being rebuked, rejected, and refused entry into all his old haunts.

Is he a ghost? Is he a man in a swimsuit that has perhaps escaped from a mental Institution? We do not know.  Yet, the film invites us to ask questions not only about the narrative and its arc, but also about our selves, our flimsy ambitions and wildest desires.  Are we all yearning for pool of our own… to “drown our sorrows,” in the the glittering liquidity of the affluent?

WE all know the feeling, the feeling of not being welcome, of being suddenly rejected, of running, of needing to get home, of looking for salvation by diving into the ocean of Voodoo, in cleansing pools of “healing waters,” bought at the nearby Santeria shop. We all seek a fountain of youth. We are all convinced that with enough money we might be able to buy eternal fame, fortune, and enduring happiness.  Yet… we all know that money creates as many problems at it solves.  When one is well off, one is often seen by others as a resource.  This can be exhausting… I imagine.

Several years ago, the New York Magazine Senior Art Critic, Jerry Saltz  wrote that he intended to “swim,” from one museum to the next, all summer, basking in the air conditioning, “immersing,” his self in great art, which is “refreshing,” to the overtaxed “aspirational,” visitors to great museums.  The critic, writes, “I spent a month dipping in and out of our city’s museums, like the character in John Cheever‘s classic short story, “The Swimmer.”  No mention of the Hollywood movie.  No mention of Burt Lancaster in his glorious fading Adonis swimsuit glory… no, no mention of Rivers and her bit part, in the beautifully shot and creative film, which tanked at the box office, none.

This film, “The Swimmer,” is a work of art.  You may agree with me that the possibility of immortality is encased in the degree to which one is able to dive into the making and venerating of the encapsulated timelessness that is art. Dance.  Writing.  Music.  Painting.  Sculpture.  Performance.  Film.  All is art if made by artists.  The artist seeks to create that which represents what is of deepest significance to the shallow and vain and deep, alike. LOOT with aspiration of being more than mere gold, but rather gold and jewels expertly fashioned into objects utilitarian and spiritual!  The artist seeks fulfillment in the creation of a ripple, a connection, a spark of emotion… some alteration of the status quo by which the dirt becomes clay and pigment becomes priceless porcelain, portraiture, landscape, framed significance, power on a pedestal, and The Artist is thus transformed from one that comes and goes, into one of the ever present immortals of memory and historic importance. For example, “Picasso!”

The artist’s greatest achievement maybe in the willingness to dive into the unknown.  It is a gel-like and glittering, preserving liquid, the ambrosia of the spirit, which gushes from a hidden spring, a common source.  Saltz nailed the feeling that I have when replenishing my “aspirational,” soul in the grand halls of great museum collections, it is one of refreshment, and charged inspiration to do, be, and enjoy the deeper end of the sparkling pools of loot, stores of endless splendor, pageantry, human achievement, the wars, the battles fought and made memorable with songs and soaring banners!  The blood splattered and marched into the mud… the forgotten mushroom cloud over Hiroshima… can be transformed into a silkscreened ornament for an elite abode.  Art is thought.  It maybe carved or poured, pasted or sanded, sprayed, etched, splattered, stained, dripped, and hammered.   It comes in all shapes, sizes, materials, and immaterial forms.  It is enduring, fleeting, transient, permanent, monumental, priceless, and/or “readymade,” for the trash and interchangeable with… other objects… as proven by the many replicas of Duchamp’s Urinal, the many “Fountain(s),” which are housed in Museums around the world.

What is art?  We don’t know.  The pool is too deep, murky.  Yet, we know that museums are more than merely amusing and that for Frau Kolb, the study of art… is something of an obsession… not on-par, of course, with the truly immersed, “Sister Wendy in Swim Trunks,” specialists which invest their entire lives in learning to LOOK deeper and share their insights with the rest of us, but in my own breezy focus, which tends to latch onto the absurdity of glorifying the golden and forgetting that we all shit.

Art is, for me, a refuge from the shallow, and yet I know that it often comes into being, BLING as a devotional playthings upon which wayward “Kings,” can see reflected their own image(s)…(to paraphrase Author Danto… sort of because I don’t really know what “Beyond the Brillo Box,” was about… other than being about modern art.) mirrored sculptures being a HUGE HIT every year when Art Basel, pitches its tent, in culture starved, Miami.  This “refreshment,” I crave remains a rarefied experience despite the fact that all major museums have FREE days and people of all kinds,  students especially, are welcome into the museum to gawk and experience a moment of ownership over the glorious… the preserved eternal… except The Barefoot (no shoes/no service) in swimming trunks… type.  Lunatics are not welcome, anywhere.  One must conform to a degree of convention to be allowed into the temple.

Joan Rivers, born Joan Alexandra Molinsky, on June 8th, 1933 in Brooklyn, was famous for many reasons. Plastic surgery became one of her claims to fame and like so many stars famous for… drinking, drugging, or otherwise obliterating themselves for the public’s pleasure, she was masterful in her execution of a collective fantasy. (Amy Winehouse lived up to her name).  Rivers flowed with the Hollywood ethic and became the unapologetic poster girl for plastic surgery.  She was an exceptional woman that could laugh at her own folly, tragedies, and invited others to laugh along with her at herself and anybody that wore the wrong outfit to the right party.

We have the pleasure of seeing her in “The Swimmer,” when she was a young woman, long before her excursions under the knife began. She was a goofy looking B E A U T Y a sweet Jewish American Lovely, with a charm that distinguished her from a universe of Hopefuls. She moved with TALENT we venerate.  The great comedians: George Carlin, Woody Allen,  Bill Cosby, and Richard Pryor were her early peers, playing the comedy club circuit in Manhattan’s West Village.  It is clear, seeing her, on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, courtesy of You tube, which was the professional moment that launched her career in television as as a talk show host, that she was at ease in her black cocktail dress and pearls, before all the surgeries began.  She was a blast of fresh air in the mostly male business of being willfully entertaining.  She was dexterous enough to pull back the curtain on Hollywood and show herself to be as naked as the next human playing Emperor, nude. She was masterful in the construction of a queen sized mask to protect herself until the day she died on the operating table.

We “pool,” our money and crave “cash flow.” The English language is replete with metaphors that equate money with water, “liquidity,” and being “flush.” Water, in turn, being synonymous in Judeo-Christian traditions with purification and cleanliness.  I’ve also heard of the “healing waters of the Ganges River.” When the old testament god gets angry, he washes humanity away with loads of water.  The women of Judea have long practiced ceremonial bathing to ensure a purity which Nietzsche found… amusing or significant… to say the least.  Protestants insist, “cleanliness is next to godliness.”  Rivers made no bones about the necessity for a youthful visage, vicious styling, and merciless materialism.  She was it. Aphrodite, Venus, was said to become a virgin again after every bath.  Rivers, sought the same level of miraculous transformation with every new procedure.  She pushed toward immortality.

Spirituality is freedom from physical limitations, from need.  Rivers never promised us a dip a deeper pool.  In fact, she appealed to the simple desire to laugh at misery, including one’s own.  She demonstrated a strength to find the humor in life’s tragedies, which distinguished her again and again.  She was true to her mantra and believed in herself, to the degree that she was willing to forge forward with her mission to “self improvement,” via surgery until the end.  In this mastery over her own course, Rivers embodies a type of divine purity that makes it easy to imagine her having a hoot at the never ending pool party in the sky.

WE want to know that there is more to life than this.  Yet… in the meantime, until we figure out what all this need for significance comes from… well… we might as well, have another drink, another kiss, another lover, and erase the worry about tomorrow or the next day or what happens when we die… with the colossal splash of a cannon ball executed from the greatest possible distance, the highest possible springing board.

In Joan River’s case, a dogged determination to ACT, to be seen, heard propelled her march to legend status. She shared herself with the public, from behind the increasingly tight mask of a youthful façade.  The importance of being physically attractive was a theme in River’s work.

Burt Lancaster’s beautiful physique made him the object of attention, when he was “discovered,” somewhat reluctantly acting in a short running Broadway play and cast in “The Killers,” (1946), a runaway hit, which launched his long career.   (I had the pleasure of seeing “The Killers,” and “Cris Cross,” at the invitation of Sighle Lancaster, at The Hammer Museum’s Billy Wilder Theater.)

Alcohol, which provides a thirst enhancing false nutrition of the body in exchange of a taste of oblivion, the little sink, on ice, a cup in which sins are dissolved, minimized, or dismissed until the hangover sets in an consequences become to big to bare, plays a major role in the drama of the American Dream. 90% of American Adults drink. According to Gabrielle Glaser, author of “Her Best-Kept Secret: Why Women Drink and  How They Can Regain Control,” American women guzzle oceans of white wine, in swimming pool sized vessels, with a gusto matched only by the girls of “Sex in the City,” downing Cosmopolitans with the aplomb of screen legends since the beginning of Tinsel Town projections of the relief from cares and the cultured delight to be found in spirits.

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What is it about alcohol that so entices? Lures?  Why is intoxicating the self such a… vital… part of Western Culture.  It is as though… we just can’t enjoy the show, without our “beer goggles.”

The film opens with, “The Swimmer,” Burt Lancaster running through forested sunlight, onto a pool terrace where he is warmly greeted by friends utterly surprised to see him, again. They are terribly, “hung over,” having had, “too much to drink, last night.” This story of poolside bars and perpetual drunken decadence in cycles of debauchery and cartoon redemption, hollow respectability, flaunted by those that manage to construct a fortress façade to hide their entirely human frailty.

Martinis, and other “Cocktails,” are offered to one and all accept children… who appear at key moments in the film to remind us… of what innocence might look like. A boy, left alone for the summer by his honeymooning mother, “swims,” across an empty pool with the imaginary support of The Swimmer. In another key scene, Our “Hero,” offers a girl (Janet Langard) her first sip of Dom Perignon, from the bar at a “Happening Party,” the two crash, after he plucks her like a ripe crocus, from a teenage gathering about another private pool, and runs with her—a leaping, prancing, show horse—a man, the actor, the star, over fifty years old and jumping over obstacles with a blond Barbie girl, face painted to look younger, at his side. Before long, she confesses, to having had enormous crush on him years ago, when she babysat his… no longer so young… daughters. Yet… she reveals herself to be completely shallow, an accident waiting to happen, when he tries to dive in for a kiss, with worn out promises of love and protection, she leaves him to his fate. “I have a boyfriend,” she suddenly reveals, explaining that she met her new lover (a very jealous fellow… with real problems), “on the computer,” (how progressive!) before running off, back to her peers, presumably.

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“The Swimmer,”  is linked, in my mind, to “Under the Volcano,” by Malcom Lowry, a book on an alcoholic man’s last day among the living. He surrenders to the abyss that is obsessive alcohol abuse.  He sinks, dying from an unquenchable thirst for a reason live, the soul of the abyss is a lack of faith in goodness, a replacing of authentic values with false idols… glittering golden calfs held high until they, too are melted down and used for some other soon forgotten purpose.  Some sacred objects bob and float, emerging from oblivion to be held dear for eternity.

Yes… we all know the myth of Narcissus and his ever-locked relationship with a body of water. I think of David Hockney’s paintings of swimming pools... evoking the placid purified depths of ambition and the filtering systems that keep some places segregated, entirely WHITE… fenced in… Swimming pools, splashy and full of water that one can not drink, but which cool the body and promote a feeling of well being in those that dream of swimming forever and never needing to reapply sunscreen.

“A River of Swimming Pools,” a wait.

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A Step Into The Profound, at The Louvre in Paris, France with Frau Kolb

 

Behold the mind spinning splendor of a crystal chandelier at the Louvre, in Paris France!
Behold the mind spinning splendor of a crystal chandelier at the Louvre, in Paris France!

 

In discovering a tossed away strip of silence, amidst the droppings of the ever hapless hordes, I found more than just an empty moment, which I picked up and folded, wrapping a bit of that precious silence, to be found… anywhere/anytime that one requires restoration… into a small shawl of contemplation. A snatched treasure, a  chunk of sweet folded silence, which works as shawl of contentment around my sometimes fragile body. I rediscovered myself, my purpose… wandering the halls of the Louvre, again.

 

Sit with me!  Let's have an imitate art chat... tell me... what are you thinking of painting, next?
Sit with me! Let’s have an imitate art chat… tell me… what are you thinking of painting, next?

Tourists, everywhere… Frau Kolb, no different, really… just taking in the eight miles of art… the whole grand history of theft and creation, slavery and the evolution of social norms. We stroll, and time peals back and reveals its secrets in rooms decorated to meet the taste of Napoleon.

Look!  Frau Kolb, texting The Muse, Ms. Crane, begging the beauty to join us for an art rich afternoon at the Louvre in Paris, France.
Look! Frau Kolb, texting The Muse, Ms. Crane, begging the beauty to join us for an art rich afternoon at the Louvre in Paris, France.

 

 

At the Louvre, I feel at home.  Hungry! We stop for lunch… the Angelic, a restaurant inside the Louvre. We sit down. I am aglow with pleasure. The sights! The Winged Victory of Samothrace! Ah! What splendor! What a treat! Ah! To be so far away from home and… oh… we are not so far from what we seek to avoid… there is a slick blond, one of those viciously expensive looking, women whose face is always freshly moisturized and glistening from a four-hour hydration and suction, green mud, facial(s). The woman announces to everyone within a one mile radius that she is American, from Miami, no less! Her blue eyes WIDE with determination, an indefatigable will to communicate, with the quiet bookish looking French couple seated just across from her, “We have gone to hugely expensive formal restaurants, two nights in a row!” She is agog with wonder. How is it even possible that such a HORROR could exist??? She continues, “Could you recommend something more casual?” She wails.

Frau Kolb at Lunch at Angelina, a cafe inside the Louvre Museum in Paris, France
Frau Kolb at Lunch at Angelina, a cafe inside the Louvre Museum in Paris, France

 

 

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My husband, Hartmuth Kolb, saying something smart, phone and lens in hand, as he prepares to document the situation, at the Louvre, in Paris, France.

 

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Hartmuth Kolb’s, priceless, photo of the ceiling at Angelina in The Louvre Museum in Paris France, Summer 2014

I feel sorry for her. She is in Paris, the birthplace of the casual bistro, the superlatively casual corner cafe… NO ONE NEED ASK FOR A RECOMMENDATION! No. No one. Not a single person need ask an entire room of strangers a question so stupid. Nope. Moreover, we do not care to know that you have eaten, nor where. Please be quiet. Frau Kolb was having a sublime moment. Frau Kolb was feeling a tense joy of self importance, savoring her much anticipated arrival at the world-famous LOUVRE, center of world LOOT, and to share it with this… clearly rich, pampered, loud, spoiled, BABY of a woman… well… that offends Frau Kolb’s refined sensibilities.

Loud American women and their public announcements of vacuity interfere with an on-going fantasy of sublime independence from the generall noxious environment, which I hold dear.

After lunch, we keep moving, allowing ourselves the pleasure of walking deeper into the bowels of the museum… ah! See the foundation… oh! Words, in blue neon, adorn big thick underground walls from when this building was a castle… a fortification, a keep, and all of the rest. We emerge into the throng of gawkers into the venerated Egyptian wing. Snippets of conversation catch our ears and hang like rings around the unfolding art adventure which is a much awaited and desired trip to the most extraordinarily well stocked cultural treasure house, in the world.

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An ancient Egyptian kitty… how very human… we animals are!
Frau Kolb is taking in the pictorial art of the ancient Egyptians at the Louvre in Paris, France
Frau Kolb is taking in the pictorial art of the ancient Egyptians at the Louvre in Paris, France

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Ack! Egyptian ART!” Exclaims the tubby girl in tank top and flip-flops to her following, of two boys about her age, and of a sheepish devoted sort. “Ya’ take the body of a human and stick it with an animal head!” She waves her hand dismissively at the vitrines housing objects whose history, provenance, and miraculously enduring meaning is of religious intensity to me… to us… the treasures of north African antiquity, dismissed by a slightly overweight, grossly underdressed, loud, person of probable mixed European, background. What else is new?

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The Pharaoh Taharka offering two wine cups to the Falcon God Hemen. XXII Dynasty, at the Louvre in Paris, France.

 

 

Ok. We move on. A few steps further, away from the girl and her companions, we fall into that slow and unwinding revelry which is waking up to the profundity of human ingenuity, triumphs in the face of daily examples of mass ignorance threaten to cloud our hope in humanity. We see and sense and experience the sacred that is really there in these sumptuous objects invested with human thought, values, intelligence, and priceless concentration.

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Nature deserves veneration, no? Our leaders need to remember what the ancient knew.
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Frau Kolb & Eternity: The Winged Victory of Samothrace

I had to go back to the Louvre.  I had to give myself more time.  The minutes in front of The Mona Lisa left me with an unsatisfied hunger.   I had seen and not experienced the overseen, bullet proof, Mona Lisa. I walked back to moment and I played it again.

The crowds were no less intimidating. Yet, I found something… else… in the experience. Yes, I did. Among thousands of people all rushing, pushing, and ticking off ART selfies to prove their level of cultural depth. I found… well, first I noticed this couple. They were in the same room as the Mona Lisa Pandemonium but they were far removed from the panic, the frenzy. Taking strength from their connected, centered, energy. I let myself walk away from the Mona Lisa.

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I sit myself down and forget where I am. The crowds disappear as I focus on The Winged Victory of Samothrace

Not too far away I sat down. I took my sketch book out. I began to draw. Then the magic happened.

Frau Kolb Takes in The Winged Victory of Samothrace in Paris, France
Frau Kolb Takes in The Winged Victory of Samothrace in Paris, France

 

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We capture the fleeting, made stone, in antiquity with our high tech gadgets.
Panoramic picture of the culture hungry hordes invading the Louvre in search of the enduring, by HC Kolb, Paris, France, Summer 2014
Panoramic picture of the culture hungry hordes invading the Louvre in search of the enduring, by HC Kolb, Paris, France, Summer 2014
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“Why are you bothering me? Can’t you see I am in the middle of something!”
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“Thank you for leaving me alone… now I can see what I am doing.” Frau Kolb at the Louvre, Paris, France. Summer, 2014 and forever.
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“Ok, now, I’ve got it…” Frau Kolb on NOT noticing this great backpack behind me, at the Louvre, in Paris France, Summer 2014.
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“I am totally focused. Screw the crowds!” Frau Kolb sketching The Winged Victory of Samothrace in Paris France at the world famous Louvre.
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“Peintures Italiennes, are that way! GO!” Thank goodness for signage, otherwise we’d all be so LOST!
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Glorious side view of “The Winged Victory of Samothrace,” all pictures associated with this piece are the copy written work of HC Kolb, Summer 2014Suddenly, I was alone. It was only me and the eternal curves of, another desperately famous work of art, yet not held in the distancing grip of bulletproof glass and wave of smart phone camera clicks.

 

Suddenly, I was alone. It was only me and the eternal curves of The Winged Victory of Samothrace, another desperately famous work of art, yet not held in the distancing grip of bulletproof glass and wave of smart phone camera clicks.

As soon as I focused my eyes on her, The  Victory of Samothrace, opened up to me. I saw how marvelous she really is! Her wings are powerful!  They look entirely proportionate to the strident female body. She is stone. Yet the artist’s mastery over stone is complete, pure virtuosity. A fluttering cascade of transformations occurs as you allow your eyes to rest on her heavily reconstructed form. She is at once static and full of a vitality that one associates with LIFE, living, good health. She is a harbinger of good news, Victory!

She is on the brink of activity, in the midst of being a viable being, larger than life, monumentally scaled, yes… but entirely of this world. Proof of the higher orders in which all creatures meld into hybrid forms of superlative wonder. The wings, feathers articulated with scientific detail, might be those of an actual bird… which one, I don’t know… but I sketch their basic shape and take in the realization of a very complex idea, in this most enduring modality of marble.

The total visual transformation of stone into wet drapery covering the ripe body of a perfectly formed female, invites awe. Her arms are missing, yet I can’t image what they might have added to what looks like a perfect composition. (However, there exist scholarly drawing and replicas which depict the complete Victory.) Perched the prowl of a triumphant ship, looks about to fly away with the elegance of a swan, the ease of a heron. Water, “splashing up,” on the statue would have made the illusion complete. Imagine that! Imagine the effect that this sculpture would have had in its time upon people not desensitized to the static marvel of marble. Ancient people, steeped in ritual, ready and willing to contemplate the profound wonder offered by spiritual symbolism. People for whom this work must have held significance deeper than its mere representational (of the impossible) value, because it was stone yet looked like a living being, ready to reward those that have fought, and triumphed.

The crowds swarming past, determined to get their image of five-centuries-of-fame, and run to the next GREAT thing… on a packed itinerary… Yet, they do not disturb me. I draw in my red book, on a page after a Cafe sketch, and before another Cafe doodle, sandwiched between my habitual sketches, I now have my own “Winged Victory,”  mine is no where near as perfect as the reconstructed masterpiece, yet she is a personal reminder to fly above the petty problems and annoyances which threaten to confuse one’s mind and push a person toward the abyss of popular culture’s all encompassing oblivion.

Frau Kolb finds herself sketching Winged Victory, for NOT a long time, just forever.

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Lunch for ONE, at Café Constant in Paris, France

 


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Merci, Monsieur Claude Reich for the restaurant recommendation.  I waltz into to Cafe Constant with confidence.  I dance in the restaurant at the moment when the corner table becomes FREE!  I take my seat, guided by a divine feeling of fulfillment at having made it to LUNCH.  The table, from which I can see the entire room,  is waiting for me. I am waved into the freshly set table by a pert young man, Garçon.  He pulls the table out for me, appraising me in an instant, slightly bowing, and then nodding, “Bon Jour, Madame!”

I am in heaven.

 

 

Cafe Constant; Rue Saint-Dominique 75007 Paris, France
Cafe Constant; Rue Saint-Dominique 75007 Paris, France


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IMG_3907Cafe Constant; Rue Saint-Dominique 75007 Paris, France

Sometimes we encounter a spot, a specific location, a space, an entrée so delicious, an invitation so tempting… that being there is… an ongoing lingering pleasure… a savoring… of eternal good taste, forever.

Welcome to Paris.

Take lunch with me, please. Sit down across from me. You are the perfect guest because I can see right through you. I may dismiss you as I please. You are never offended. You care. Yet, you are transparent without substance. You sit. You listen well. Conversation is not your forte. I don’t mind. I’ve brought a book. I am reading, “Paris; True Stories of Life on the Road.” Or sketching… or perhaps I am daydreaming. Lazily watching others chew, sip, swallow, listen, answer, and gently argue over topics not likely to be resolved.

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I make a note to myself about the plain lady, looking very Catholic, stern and her prune like mother, an wrinkled replica of the younger woman. She, with her antiquated haircut would be an excellent character in a book. A book… I am not writing a book. I blog. I write about food, fun, and fast times in museum settings. Nothing too exciting, yet a few people care to read my words and I am grateful for their LIKES and shares, donations, endorsements, and trickle of praise.

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Frau Kolb is at ease at Cafe Constant, in Paris France.

 

Indeed, I feed on the positive attention of a few loyal readers that care to know what Frau Kolb had for lunch in Paris during the sexy summer of 2014.

Delicious fresh French food, I savor  every firm and well rounded green pea, every cube of carrot, delights me!
Delicious fresh French food, I savor every firm and well rounded green pea, every cube of carrot, delights me!

 

 

Yet, I will not tell you what I eat. I will show you. You can look over my shoulder. Or better yet, sit with me. Yes, take a load off.  Relax.  We have all the time in the world.  No one would ever rush us, here at the famous Cafe Constant, there are is an ebb and flow of patrons, ever so steady and well… I might stay here all day, it is so comfortable… and the people!  Behold the polished Asian couple now seated to my right.  Wow, they look like advertising, picture perfect. They must be from the future.  I gather by their high tech watches, slick designer space gear.  I love them, instantly.  Yet, hope they don’t notice me taking them in along with my espresso.

 

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Frau Kolb experiences Post Lunch Bliss at Cafe Constant in Paris France, Summer 2014.

 

I will take care of the bill. Keep your cash. You will need it, later. We will go out tonight, perhaps. IF you have time, after your next engagement, I will be around. Floating. I have a good book with me. I am reading, “Paris, Paris; Journey Into The City of Light,” by David Downie. I have my sketchbook, chalk, erasers and those black wing pencils, I prefer. Perhaps, I will POP into The Louvre and make a record of the wet dream of inter-species perfection, The Winged Victory, the statue… of a luscious female form emerging from the chiseling water, which plasters the wet “fabric,” of stone against her hot winged body. The ancient statue is mesmerizing work of art worthy of its pith. She is eternally ready for an armless flight into… forever.

Me, Myself, & Frau Kolb at Lunch, Cafe Constant, Paris.  Summer 2014!
Me, Myself, & Frau Kolb at Lunch, Cafe Constant, Paris. Summer 2014!

 

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Witness: The Mona Lisa, The Queen of Visual Kitsch, Rule the Universe!

We get out of bed and make our way to the museum early. We are on a mission!  Armed with a marked up map and specific instructions, thanks to Stephanie at Panoramic tours, we know just where to go, Underground. It is the most direct route. We were going to see HER.

THE LADY with THE ENIGMATIC SMILE.  A painting, imbued with a creepy load of personality.  “She,” rules the space around her.  Yet... how does a painting become more important than the living, breathing, beings around her?
THE LADY with THE ENIGMATIC SMILE. A painting, imbued with a creepy load of personality. “She,” rules the space around her. Yet… how does a painting become more important than the living, breathing, beings that bestow her power?

Of course, we did not expect to have any, “alone time” with her.  We knew that she is “everybody’s darling.”

What we got was much worse… we were reminded of how meaningless, insignificant, and trite our Bucket Lists are.  We were, 100% a part of the herd of humanity, snapping an image of La Gioconda, before being pushed out of the way by the next, equally determined tourist/pilgrim with a smart phone or a canon camera, at the ready.

Once, she was stolen, by a “crazy Italian,” convinced that she wanted to go home.
Once, she was stolen, by a “crazy Italian,” convinced that she wanted to go home.

(FOOL! She loves to be up there, behind bullet-proof glass, the absolute center of an ongoing panic, a perpetual craze, which occurs with clocklike regularity, from the moment the museum opens, until the last tour bus leaves, in the world famous and celebrated Louvre Museum, in Paris, France.)

Seeing her… I did NOT see her. She was invisible. I saw the flash of cameras, the crazed LOOK of… hunger? Yes, HUNGER for… what? Recognition, perhaps… we seek to see THE ORIGINAL, THE MOTHER IMAGE from which all the tacky little key chains, coffee mugs, calendars, and other scraps or fragments of the sacred, the untouchable, THE ORIGINAL, the a priori … which is stamped on the faces of the ART STARVED crowds… “Art starved?” You ask… Well… Yes, that is what I witnessed.

 I saw adult infants reaching for the teat of certified beauty and established aesthetic certainties. The queen of conformity, The Mona Lisa is the mental rabbit foot, the proof that one is CULTURED, cultivated, worthy of living. Having documented the sight of her with a selfie, we are FREE, to turn on backs—forever—on the little revered painting by Leonard d’ Vinci, the original Renaissance Man. (I believe, we all want some of the milky charm that sprays from this eternal fountain.)

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She and she alone sits and is worshiped by i-phone clicks and selfie sticks, wielded with an alarming lack of grace. She is photographed so many times per day, and visited by so many people, NONE of whom really see her. Instead, they ignore each other, pulling and tugging—fighting—to see her?

We all wish to solve the mystery. She is a treasure, that is for certain.  Yet, why? How is it that a painting can stimulate such visual appetite, cultural hunger?  The standing whiff of desperation around her is a grand spectacle. Frau Kolb was a part of it; flaunting her own needy and naked desire to be beautiful, famous, loved, and celebrated. We all want a piece of that excitement. The thrill of being seen as significant, worthy, ein Schatz (which means, “a treasure,” in German). We all want to be valued, special, celebrated or at least accepted. Don’t we?IMG_9321

Well, long ago, a German cultural critic, Walter Benjamin (15 July 1892 – 26 September 1940) wrote an essay which, I’ve tried to read, many times. Yet, I simply don’t understand it. He speaks about, “the Aura,” of the work of art and… how that aura was lost via reproduction, which is not… or is… I can’t tell which… a BAD thing. Opps! (I know… I studied art history, I really should be able to understand what Benjamin or Theodor W. Adorno, who responds to him. “Art in the Age of Mechanical  Reproduction,”  is the article by Benjamin which I regret falling to comprehend, because that is the heart of the matter…) Mona Lisa’s pull is in the ease with which her high impact and mysterious image can be turned into endless reproductions! Yes. She reproduces like it is nobody’s business.  She sells!

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Mona, with her come-hither looks is forever… a siren, beckoning tourists, to the crush… to the HORROR of Invisibility.  Since we are all NOBODY in comparison with the famed Dame!

Leonardo d’ Vinci’s Mona Lisa is reproduced in cheap prints on coffee cups, deli napkins, and shopping totes… enough “kitsch,” (A wonderful German word, which art historians LOVE, which means… crap art we get a KICK out of like… whoopee cushions of culture…) to populate a cosmos of gaping landfills.  Clearly, the tightly guarded ORIGINAL work of art was painted by Leonard d’ Vinci, a time traveling genius, who had the political savvy to die in the arms of a French King, (no less!). Moreover, Leonardo may have understood, precisely how to make an immortal image, one which could easily be pressed and passed on, a type of female figurative currency. Yet, she is nothing special, really… She is not even… BIG… she’s not even Marilyn… platinum blond….but she is pure POP, contemporary art, that is for certain.  Who among us can verify that the painting we think we see is not a poster?IMG_3809

The “painting,” sits behind bullet proof glass and must have a red velvet rope around her. I mean… if she were not the real thing who among the millions that snap a picture in a year could tell? Certainly NOT I! I got no where near enough to see the genius, the otherworldly, Uncanny hand of the master! One barely has time to snap a selfie before being pushed out of the way by someone convinced that their need for a selfie is greater than yours.

Frau Kolb among the crowds, visiting the Mona Lisa at the Louvre in Paris, France.  Summer, 2014
Frau Kolb among the crowds, visiting the Mona Lisa at the Louvre in Paris, France. Summer, 2014

I believe that when The Muse of Talkinggrid, Ms. Crane said, “Fuck the Mona Lisa!” She was nailed a sentiment I share. Why all the fuss? Mona Lisa’s tripped out, picture perfect, made for selfies image, is as vapid as that of two bit hussy. We refuse to be humiliated!  We are better than THAT! Well… actually, we (husband & I) fought the crowds to see her. We pushed. Shoved, each other… Actually, Harmuth never pushes, but is not a person anyone can dismiss.  Ms. Crane is likely not to have pushed anyone because she is,The Muse, after all and people really do respect her “Aura.” Frau Kolb is convinced that “the Aura,” of La Gioconda is one more example of a sheepish desire to fold into the herd, while feeling superior and civilized.

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I did not see a single person that looked satisfied by their brush with the inordinate tourist crowds mobbing Mona. After grabbing a snap of her, across the room and over the heads of a gaggle of other anonymous gaping gawkers, every visitor I saw looked cranky, disappointed. One and all, we are NOTHING in the face of Mona Lisa’s FAME, her radiant reputation!  She rules.

The actual work of art, as it hangs for “public pleasure,” at the Louvre, the painting is erased by the mass unseeing of the image under a storm of “distracted,” self absorbed, self appointed, “art critics” of mostly ZERO integrity (this, of course, includes me… I too have fallen, stooped, and hustled to see the Lady behind glass… only to encounter what I knew would be a monumental waste of human energy, in search of sacred… something… Which, of course was NOT there. There is only a flimsy experience of emptiness, in an overcrowded museum hall, where all the other paintings are made utterly invisible, erased, by the frantic crowds clicking images of themselves and the beast that is desire for recognition, reputation, and singularity; which may be the fuel that gets all the tourists out of bed and ready to face challenging crowd conditions for so little reward, paying for the privilege of being one more ART LOVER!  Hah!

We, at Talkinggrid, admit to being vain.  We want, no less than anyone else wants, our “brands,”to endure; our own five centuries of fame. We want to be Marilyn, the American La Gioconda, The Girl with the Pearl Earring, and The Venus de Willendorf rolled into ONE, mega MOM, a super being, with an ample bosom, ready to feed the entire world. Yet, few are willing to do the exercise, the calisthenics required, of those that seek enduring glory.  Few are going to die in the embrace of royal patrons, either.

This fortunate young woman is tall enough to get her Mona Lisa Selfie, without losing herself in the throng.
This fortunate young woman is tall enough to get her Mona Lisa Selfie, without losing herself in the throng.