Yesterday,
Frau in the company of her beloved protective big scientist German national husband, Herr Dr. Kolb hit Beverly Hills on a well planned and anticipated SPREE!
We arrived in Beverly Hills, California, fairly determined and thoroughly prepared to feast on luxury fish and fashion. Frau was all set and eager; ready to write about decadence with a price tag and taxes; written in and paid for nothings to be enjoyed; savored, abundant tips added. The BIT! Frau was ready to shop and then to write about the pleasure.
Entering the store via what used to be the quiet underfloor of offices into a buzzing hive of scented candles and cosmetics… what a NEW MACY’S entrance… at BARNEY’s NEW YORK??? What???? I mean I dig MACY’S because it is easy and convenient to go there and get a lot for one’s home, for example… when I was in Philadelphia and furnished my husband’s entire bachelor pad in 24 hours’; Macy’s was super. (Click here for the downtown Philadelphia Macy’s hopping super shopping adventure with Frau Kolb.)
Yet, Failure of Barney’s NEW YORK in Beverly Hills to reel me in with its scarily overpriced… no it is INFLATION, gross and ugly; I remember buying the same scarves last year for two thirds the price and everything seems so crammed so sterile and strange; like a shopping hospital for ugly people.
When I was a youngster, growing up like a weed in wonderful Manhattan, I was taken to Barney’s by a man, who later became my lover. He was the first person to ever offer to buy me a truly lavish gift in an over-the-top luxury establishment. I watched in amazement as LADIES floated by in chiffon and makeup. They looked like fairies. Angels. I was overwhelmed and I refused the opal ring he offered me because we were not lovers, yet.
The Restaurant at Barney’s now offers little food; just the same burgers and fries that every other place serves; little snacks; a salmon plate, whatever. IT is so NOT BARNEY GREENGRASS and without Greengrass, Barney’s is NOT The BARNEYS I Love. (Fortunately, Greengrass has moved to new location in LA so I don’t have to fly to NYC to get a dose of proper salmon, whitefish, and caviar; to go with my staple Vueve Cliquot.) Disappointed and vaguely disgusted by the expensively attired Japanese teen taking the proverbial selfie, to the older Italian businessman in a fabulous suit ogling her, we stormed out of Barney’s and onto Wilshire Blvd.
We walked around Beverly Hills. Everything seemed weird to us, foreign, even though we have lived in Los Angeles for a decade and know this part of town; intimately… we have the strangest feeling that something is OFF.
“We must be famished,” we concur and continue roaming until we step into Flemmings in Beverly Hills for an overpriced BLAH meal. The other guests, seated in the thick booths about us looked miserable. The waiter was smug and pushing overpriced wines and the same salty scallops in the same dot of green mud, which every overpriced venue now has on their menu (along with the standard Pork Belly and rubber steaks, which of course… we ALL want.) Honestly, I eat meat. Yet I LOVE ANIMALS no cow should die for some ass to eat an overpriced steak at a famous yet unimpressive steak house in an area known for luxury and increasingly delivering this to an audience which is clearly NOT as precise as Frau in her expectations of culinary perfection; being that whenever I eat out it is a treat for me I always want it be at least better than what I cook at home. Recently, with the planting of a backyard organic garden, next to her very active kitchen… it is becoming difficult to enjoy the slap-dash, disasters, made of post-haste and kitchen waste that is passed of as gourmet in most “renown,” eating houses. (Calamari, chicken wings…. all this was considered GARBAGE food before… these dishes got transformed into trendy eats… “think before you chew,” that is my motto.”
Gardening, growing food, cooking at home, drinking wine in the back yard… yeah, that is what this summer is going to be about at CASA KOLB.
(Just take a gander at at the Bok choi, Romaine Lettuce, Parsley, Basil, Chive and Sweet-pea salad… I 
grew all the organic ingredients in my backyard —tiny—organic dirt and seed, GARDEN!
It is in the cold hard moments of reflection, when the thrill of shopping, has failed to entice and the fun of food is not what one expects, that one faces the truth about one’s dining partner: either a person is fun and a good companion or not. Thank goodness if have partnered with a very civilized human that entertains me with humor and soothes the cranky tiger of my being with compliments; making love to his Frau with words, coaxing laughter from his Frau at the table even if the food laid before us, is not the cause.